


Two Ducks in Love

by Gemmi999



Category: Glee
Genre: Alternate Universe, Family, M/M, Romance, california baby
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-05-05
Updated: 2012-04-25
Packaged: 2017-10-20 09:46:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 17
Words: 42,015
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/211433
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Gemmi999/pseuds/Gemmi999
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When Kurt's thirteen, his father sits him down at the kitchen table and stares at him. Looks at him and looks through him until Kurt's shifting uncomfortably because he's pretty sure this means he did something wrong and is going to get punished, but for the life of him he doesn't know *what* he did. He knows his dad's kind of freaked out because he broke his arm, but he'd told his dad that he fell (doesn't mention being pushed, doesn't mention being called <i>queer</i>) and he's pretty sure his dad had believed him.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

When Kurt's thirteen, his father sits him down at the kitchen table and stares at him. Looks at him and looks through him until Kurt's shifting uncomfortably because he's pretty sure this means he did something wrong and is going to get punished, but for the life of him he doesn't know *what* he did. He knows his dad's kind of freaked out because he broke his arm, but he'd told his dad that he fell (doesn't mention being pushed, doesn't mention being called _queer_ ) and he's pretty sure his dad had believed him.

Then his dad starts talking about love, and acceptance, and how being different is okay because if everybody was the same the world would be a much more boring place. Kurt nods because he thinks he's supposed to, but he's really not sure what his dad is trying to say. His arm still hurts and he's a little loopy because of the painkillers.

But then Kurt hears: "I love you, kiddo. And I want you to be happy. And I don't think you can be happy here." and he thinks he might have missed out on something *important*. But his dad hugs him and kisses his forehead (and Kurt pretends to wipe it away because seriously? SERIOUSLY? He's 13 and he's pretty sure he's supposed to be embarrassed by his dad.)

And then time speeds up and before Kurt really understands what's happening the house is boxed up and the garage is sold, and the two of them are driving away from Ohio with a u-haul attached to the back of his father's truck. Kurt isn't sorry to say goodbye to Lima, but he's kind of scared to say hello to someplace new. He has a book to read during the car-ride and a game boy that he doesn't really like playing but it had been a *gift* and his dad had ruffled his hair when he handed it over, so Kurt pretends to enjoy it.

Kurt isn't sure what to think about California-Santa Cruz-because all he really knows about it is that there's a boardwalk there where Lost Boys was filmed, and he kind of loves Lost Boys a little because he thinks the blond vampire is kind of cute. And he knows his father doesn't know this because Kurt's never said a word about it-just watched the tape over and over again. And when his dad asks why Kurt just blushes a little and mumbles something about how cool it would be to be a vampire because then he wouldn't take shit from nobody.

Kurt's quiet as they drive away, and he cries a little when he sees the Ohio state line because it's real, they're really leaving. He really never has to go to class and see the kids that teased him every day, the kid that pushed him and called him names. But part of him is sad because it feels a little like they're leaving his mom behind, even though she's dead and he doesn't believe in heaven so she's really just a body in the ground. They're leaving the house that she bought with Kurt's dad; leaving the bedroom where Kurt remembers snuggling up to her and reading "Chronicles of Narnia" and "The Giving Tree".

Kurt sees his dad look at him so he sits up straighter and reaches for his backpack. "We can always visit." His dad says, and he takes a hand off the steering wheel and ruffles Kurt's hair, and Kurt nods because he's supposed to, but he knows they never will. Lima is behind them now, the memories are behind them, and he knows he needs to learn to look forward instead.

##

Kurt's asleep when they arrive in Santa Cruz. He doesn't wake up until he feels his dad shaking his shoulder, saying: "Kiddo, we're here." and when he opens his eyes its dark and he can't really see anything, but he can hear the ocean and the air feels different from Lima air. It feels cool and pleasant and it almost tastes salty, but Kurt's pretty sure that's just his imagination.

The first few days pass really quickly. Kurt and his dad wander around town, looking at different apartments and debating which one they want, and in the end they decide on a town house that's cozy and quiet, with a garage big enough for his father and a skylight that Kurt falls in love with at first sight. It's smaller then what they had before, and it doesn't feel like home yet, but its painted a bright cheery yellow and every time Kurt sees it he's reminded that this isn't Lima, it's someplace new, and he smiles.

They unpack and settle in and its summer, so Kurt doesn't have start school right away and he's happy about that. He wants the time to get used to being someplace so different. Kurt spends a lot of time exploring the neighborhood. He gets a bus pass at a neighbor's recommendation and soon he's exploring downtown, too. There's thrift shops and book stores and stores that he can't go in because they say "18 and Over" in the blacked-out window and it's smaller then Lima, prettier and cleaner. Kurt likes it more then he ever thought he would.

The first time Kurt and his dad go out to eat they go to a diner called The Saturn Cafe and Kurt falls kind of in love with it. It's loud and bright and happy, and vegetarian (which neither of them knew at first but his dad is willing to try it once and Kurt is amazed at that). Lima hadn't had any vegetarian restaurants. The tables are shadowboxes and people slide things into them as a reminder that they were there, and the advertisements on the wall say that on Tuesday's you get a discount if you wear a wig. And when Kurt gets up to go the bathroom he's even more surprised, because they're not normal. There isn't a boys room and a girls room but instead a sign that says to use the one you feel most comfortable in and Kurt knows this means something but he isn't sure what. He uses the one with the urinals and is careful to wash his hands before going back to the table.

He doesn't say anything about the bathrooms and later, when his dad has to go, Kurt sits at the table and studies the movie theater tickets in the shadow box before him. He wishes he had something to slide between the glass but after looking through his pockets he knows he doesn't. His dad comes back to the table and doesn't say anything about the bathrooms and Kurt lets out a breath he didn't even know he'd been holding. He takes a bite of his fake-chicken sandwich and smiles when his dad asks if it's good.

When they're leaving the restaurant his dad stops and looks at the building next door. It says 'Teen Center' in the window and there's a rainbow underneath that says "Queer Spoken Here". Kurt shifts uncomfortably because he isn't sure what his dad is going to say, but all Burt says it: "Looks nice. You should check it out sometime." And in that moment Kurt has never loved his dad more.

It takes him a few days, but Kurt does go back to the teen center. He walks in and looks around because its nothing like what he thought it would be (empty, sterile, quiet) and instead it's colorful and loud and there are kids doing things everywhere. There's a group of boys about his age playing video games in the corner, the dancing one; there's a pool table and air hockey game in the back, and Kurt's kind of staring and not sure what he wants to do when somebody taps his shoulder.

"Hey, you new?" It's a boy about Kurt's age and Kurt nods because he isn't sure he trusts himself to actually say anything. "Cool-wanna come play DDR with us?"

And Kurt does a double take because he's being invited over but he doesn't know what DDR is. "Um, DDR?" and he hates that his voice shakes a little, but he's pretty sure the other boy doesn't hear it.

"Oh, sorry. Dance, Dance, Revolution." the boy explains. "It's kind of hard to explain but when you see it you'll understand."

"Oh." Kurt says. Then he takes a breath and says: "Okay."

"I'm Jonathan. Well, my friends call me JD." JD says as he guides Kurt over to the crowd of boys in the corner.

"Kurt."

"Cool." And then they're there and Kurt isn't sure what to do. "Just watch for now and when you want to try let me know." JD says and Kurt nods.

Kurt goes home that night tired and sweaty. He'd joined in on the DDR game after awhile and it turned out he was kind of good at it, enough so that JD had laughed and asked if he was sure he'd never played before. The other boys had laughed along with JD, but it wasn't the mean laughter that Kurt was used to hearing in Lima. He thinks that he and JD might be friends now, because JD had made him promise to come hang out the next day, and Kurt had every intention of doing so.

His dad is happy to see him, and when Kurt starts babbling about the center and DDR and JD and how great everything was, Burt's smiling and his eyes are happy and he's hugging Kurt close and saying: "I'm really, really glad kiddo."

Kurt really, really loves his dad.

##

The rest of the summer flies by, long days filled with laughter and video games and exploring the town with JD. JD makes it a point to show Kurt all the "cool" spots like the midnight movie theater that showed a different movie every Friday night at midnight (his dad didn't let him go yet-said it was too late to go out alone), and the mystery spot (where the water ran up hill!) and the board walk where Lost Boys had been filmed. Kurt's less then happy when he sees the mall for the first time-it's small and cramped, with stores horribly out of date and nothing that he would call "fashionable" there-but JD laughs when Kurt says all this.

"San Jose is only an hour away and they have huge malls, gigantic malls, and most people go there to do serious shopping." he explains and Kurt grins because that sounds better then anything he was expecting and really, everything else in Santa Cruz is so wonderful he can forgive the town for having a crappy mall.

School starts up at the end of August, earlier then Kurt is used to but he's excited for it because he's starting high school and he's always liked *learning*. It was just everything else he didn't like. And Kurt's seen enough of Santa Cruz by now to know that it isn't anything like Lima, so he's particularly worried about something happening, either.

He goes to Frosh Week and gets a tour of the campus, and picks out his classes, and sits through assembly after assembly about school rules and school pride. The amphitheater is outside, surrounded by trees and picnic tables where the students eat lunch and its nothing like Ohio. And then its Friday and he's almost bored of the entire thing, ready for classes to start on Monday, but there's one more assembly and this time its put on by the other students, the upperclassmen. The principal comes out and says a few words and then there's skits about what to do and not to do at school. The seniors talk about not drop kicking dead cats in the hallways (and Kurt doesn't even want to know what brought that on), about not showing up drunk or high, about the dress code and what not to wear.

Then they do a skit about PDA's and how to not get caught by a teacher and Kurt's eyes are wide open because it's two guys that doing the skit and part of him thinks they aren't going to act it out, but then they do, and the two guys are on stage kissing and another kid walks by acting like a teacher and the entire thing is funny because, yes, but Kurt's mind is reeling because two guys, two guys, two guys...and nobody says anything. Nobody coughs and says i _fag/i_ and nobody near him shifts uncomfortably and looks away. Instead they laugh and the skits continue (something about gym class and the horrible uniforms) and Kurt's still stuck on the two guys kissing.

He knew Santa Cruz was different from Lima, but there's different and then there's different. Kurt goes home that day more confused then he'd been the whole week. He makes dinner for his dad and sets the table and then just sits there, waiting. When Burt comes home he looks at the table and looks at Kurt and Burt's smiling because he seems happier here, lighter then in Lima, and Kurt stands up and looks at his dad and bursts into tears.

Kurt rambles about the skits and the boys and Santa Cruz and Burt hugs him close and doesn't say anything, just lets Kurt get everything out of his system. When Kurt's calmed down enough he sits at the table and looks at his dad and takes a deep breath and says: "I'm gay."

Burt nods. "I know. And I'm proud of you for telling me."

"I didn't fall back in Lima." Kurt whispers. "They-"

Burt interrupts him. "I know, Kurt. Your principal called."

"Oh."

"And here it's-different." Kurt says. "They did skits at the assembly today and two boys kissed as part of it and-" Kurt falls silent. "That's why we moved, isn't it?"

Burt is silent for a second. "Lima was too small for us. Both of us, not just you, and Santa Cruz-"

Kurt swallows. "It's bigger." He says. "It's bigger then Lima could ever hope to be." And he's hugging his dad again and whispering "I love you," while their dinner gets cold, but Kurt doesn't care.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kurt's in health class, pretending to pay attention to a horrible video of a baby being born (and really, its enough to make him glad he's gay because otherwise he might have to look at a vagina up close and personal one day and just the video is enough to make him queasy), when JD passes him a note.

Kurt's in health class, pretending to pay attention to a horrible video of a baby being born (and really, its enough to make him glad he's gay because otherwise he might have to look at a vagina up close and personal one day and just the video is enough to make him queasy), when JD passes him a note.

**  
_DDR after school?_   
**

Kurt sighs before scribbling **_yes_** on the paper and waits until the teacher's back is to him to push it over. He doesn't particularly want too-sweat is something his Alexander McQueen cardigan is probably not prepared for-but JD really likes it and they'd gone to the bookstore yesterday at Kurt's urging (really, was it his fault that the guy who worked the book buyback counter had such nice arms? Kurt was just doing his civic duty to make sure JD saw them). Besides, JD had the new Guitar Hero game and Kurt _killed_ at the vocals. He could probably convince JD to switch games after a few rounds and a little bit of Spanish homework.

The video is still playing and it's getting even grosser, with blood everywhere and Kurt is seriously is a little upset that his dad signed the permission form for this because he could be sitting in the library working on his American History essay right now, instead of watching the Miracle of Life. But no, his dad had insisted that Kurt know all about the facts of life-even though Kurt maintained he would never, ever, impregnate a girl.

His dad had shrugged and said: "Never hurts, right? What if one of your friends gets pregnant?" and Kurt had sighed because yes, all right, he could see Tiffany or Maria maybe getting pregnant someday and Kurt would want to be a supportive friend. But really, there were lines and he's pretty sure he can be supportive without seeing _this_ up close and personal.

He shuts his eyes and waits for the noise to stop before he peaks out at the room. Half the girls have their legs crossed and a few of the guys are squirming uncomfortably and Kurt laughs a little to himself. He's pretty sure this is one of the best parts about being gay-not having to worry about unplanned pregnancies.

"Alright class," the teacher says as he flicks the television screen off. "I know this might have made some of you feel uncomfortable but giving birth is an important part of life. Without it none of you would be here today!"

A couple kids teetered, mostly to stay on the teacher's good side. He was always cracking jokes and trying to be more cool then he actually was. Kurt just sat on his stool and waited.

"Now, I have another permission slip for you to take home-next week we're having a panel of guest speakers and the discussion every year gets a little-graphic." The teacher says. "I'm sure all of you will want to participate, so please bring this back signed by Monday in order to sit in on the lecture."

"What is it?" Kelly calls out and Kurt's happy because he wants to know but he doesn't particularly want to be the one to show an interest.

"They're called the Triangle Speakers," the teacher says. Kurt's never heard of them but about half the class is nodding so he knows they're probably a local group.

"Are they allowed to talk about sex this time?" another boy calls out, "Because last time they kept saying we were too young."

"Yes. This is a health class after all and you need to have access to information about how to have safe sex regardless of your orientation. That being said-please keep it appropriate. And make sure your parents sign the permission slips!" The teacher says. The bell rings and Kurt gathers his belongs quickly before heading straight to the door. He takes a permission slip as he passes his teacher and then waits against the outside wall for JD to pass.

Kurt grabs his friend's arm and pulls him close. "Explain." And he doesn't need to say what, JD's smart.

"Oh, dude-you've never seen them before, have you?" JD smiles. "They came to 7th grade health so pretty much everyone knows who they are-"

"So who are they?" Kurt raises an eyebrow.

"They're like a group of people that are GLBT. They go around and answer questions about being gay to help educate people I guess. But seriously-this time we get to ask them about sex! Last time we were too young and kept getting yelled at for making dick jokes." JD smiles at the memory.

"So you're telling me I have to go home and ask my dad to sign a permission slip so I can learn about gay sex in school." Kurt asks, slightly incredulous.

"Yeah." JD shrugs. "Didn't you have sex Ed in Ohio?"

Kurt laughs a little. "We talked about how good children needed to remain virgins until they were married."

"Seriously?" JD laughs before shaking his head. "It sounds like a whole different world."

"It was." Kurt says. He thinks about the kids who had teased him; walking down the hall and having to constantly watch not only where he was going but also who was around. The looks, the whispered words. Then he shakes his head to clear the memories from his mind.

Ohio was the past, they were in Santa Cruz now and Kurt needed to remember that.

"So, think your dad will sign the form?" JD asks.

Kurt sighs. "Yes, of course he will. Just-I think this means he'll try to give me the talk, you know?"

"Ouch." JD says, sympathetic. "All my mom did was leave a book on my bed with a note to read it because it might be helpful."

"Did you?" Kurt asks, smiling.

"I totally skimmed it!" JD grins at the memory. "I was like, excited because I thought there might be pictures in there, you know, of girls? So I skimmed the *entire* thing and the best I got was a tiny drawing of a uterus."

"Such a hard life you lead."

"Shut-up." JD shoved Kurt playfully. "I was young-"

"You're still young, J."

"Yeah, well-it was middle school!"

"Oh, the horror, the horror." Kurt says, deadpan.

"Ass." JD laughs. "Hey, passing period's almost up and I gotta get to World Civ. I'll see you at lunch okay?"

"Sure." Kurt agrees.

"See you!"

##

Kurt's home in time for dinner, slightly sweaty from the DDR, and he's debating showering when his dad snags him. "You have a good day at school?"

Kurt nods out of habit. "It was fine."

"Anything exciting happen?"

"Well, you tortured me. But other then that, not really." Kurt jokes.

"Oh, you had to watch that birth video today, didn't you?" Burt laughs. "Kiddo, I watched your mom give birth to you. Trust me when I say a video is nothing compared to the real thing."

"It was still disgusting."

"So make sure you don't get someone pregnant." Burt shrugs as if to say it's that easy.

"Um, yeah." Kurt rolls his eyes.

"No, seriously kid. I know girls aren't your cup of tea but-" and now Burt looks a little uncomfortable, shifting foot to foot. "But I know kids, ya know, experiment..."

"Dad!"

"Kurt!" His dad says back to him, smiling. "Just-condoms are your friend, okay?"

"I'm 14 dad. I'm not exactly doing anything right now."

"Well, just in case." Burt says. "So, giving birth not exactly what you expected it to be?"

"It was bloody. And um, I'm pretty sure the girl might have-"

"Crapped her pants?" Burt says, laughing again.

"Well, she wasn't exactly wearing pants..." Kurt says, clearly looking at the doorway to his bedroom and debating how fast he can run away from this awkward conversation.

"Yeah." Burt nods. "It happens."

"Alright then, so-"

"Go get changed, dinner will be here in a minute."

"Where'd you order from this time?"

"Just pizza, but don't worry, I got you salad and vinaigrette dressing on the side."

"It wouldn't hurt for you to eat that occasionally, too. My health class did a unit on nutrition last month and let me tell you, pizza isn't necessarily the best thing in the world for your heart."

"I know." Burt reaches out and ruffles Kurt's hair. "You lectured me about it enough last month that I thought I'd have to go vegan."

"There are many benefits to a vegan diet." Kurt began.

"And there are just as many drawbacks. Including not eating steak, and hamburgers, and lasagna."

"True." Kurt laughs. "Let me go shower, and don't let me forget I have a permission slip for you to sign, for health."

"Another one? What's this one for?" Burt asks.

"Just a panel that's coming to talk to us." Kurt says.

"What are they talking to you about?"

"Um, gay stuff." Kurt mumbles. "Well, what do you know, I really need to shower before the pizza gets here."

"Hold up, buddy." Burt says before walking into the living room. "Why don't you explain to me what exactly the panel is about and then I'll sign your form, okay?"

"Can't I shower first?"

"This'll only take a minute. Might as well get it over with."

"Fine." Kurt says, sulkily, before following his father into the living room. Maybe if he spoke *really* fast his dad wouldn't understand. Kurt sighed. He had a better chance of the sun exploding in the next 5 minutes and obliterating all of humanity.

##

JD answered his phone on the first ring. "Kill me now."

"Kurt, stop being so melodramatic."

"You didn't just have to ask your dad permission to sit in on a gay sex panel."

"Did he say yes?" JD asks, pragmatically.

"Yes." Kurt sighs. "As long as I come home and talk to him about it, and any questions I might have."

"See? Nothing bad happened."

"JD!" Kurt sounds scandalized. "I had to talk to my very straight father about gay sex. He wanted to *sit in* on the panel! I had to talk him out of it!"

"Sounds like he's trying to, you know, be there."

"There's a distinct difference between being there for me and _being there_ for me!"

"You just don't want to ask questions in front of him." JD snickers.

"I could call your mom and tell her that you have some questions the book didn't answer," Kurt threatens. "I'm sure she'd be *delighted* to sit down with you and go over, in detail, how exactly wet dreams work."

"You wouldn't!"

"Try me."

"Asshole," JD laughs. "Come on, it's over, your done being traumatized. It's Friday night-"

"I know. I know. Just-"

"Kurt, seriously. Your dad is one of the more awesome dad's in the world, right? Didn't he move you guys out here so you'd be happier?"

"Yes. No, I know you're right. It's just-"

"No teenager likes talking to their parents about sex," JD says.

"Exactly."

"Well, it's over for now. And it's the weekend. Tomorrow we can go rock climbing-"

"Um, no." Kurt says. "Last weekend you got me to go hiking with you. This weekend we are doing something very sane, like thrift store shopping and maybe seeing a movie."

"But the rock climbing place is having a special!"

"And I just had a manicure on Wednesday and there is no way I'm messing up my nails."

"Seriously, dude-"

"Please don't call me dude."

"Fine." JD sighs. "Look, maybe I'll go rock climbing with my brother in the morning, and you can sleep in. Then we can go see a movie tomorrow night?"

"Sounds perfect, but only if I can get-"

"Yeah, you can get a hot chocolate from the chocolate place." JD interrupts. Ever since Kurt had found Chocolate he's been fascinated with the cafe. The hot chocolate was to *die* for and it was next to their favorite bookstore (with the very handsome cashier). It was practically a weekend staple.

"I'm going to have to use the elliptical for at least an hour in anticipation," Kurt jokes.

"Yeah, well-you could go rock climbing. It's good exercise." JD smiles.

"Like that's going to happen."

"Never hurts to ask, right?" JD laughs before hanging up.

Kurt smiles into the phone before putting it back into his pocket. He'd never imagined having such a great friend, but in the six months he's been living in Santa Cruz, Kurt has had to reevaluate almost everything he'd always imagined, anyway.

It felt kind of nice.

##


	3. Two Ducks in Love Chapter 3

Time passes, as time is wont to do. Burt's shop is open and it's successful (although not as successful as the one in Lima) which means money's tighter then it was before. Kurt doesn't dress in designer/name brand outfits anymore, but he does dress just as carefully, just as meticulously. He's become something of a savant at thrifting and he's good at defining his own style, almost street grunge and surfer and fashionista rolled together. He's really, really, good at pairing bold colors with interesting prints and making them work. Always topped with an unique hoodie because, and this is something he never thought he'd say, he kind of loves them. Not something he'd ever imagined wearing in Lima but everybody wore them in Santa Cruz and they're comfy and good at keeping him warm (while hiding his earbuds during more boring classes) and its not like Santa Cruz really got cold enough to justify nice winter coats.

He's long since joined the GSA and befriended a lesbian couple (Tiffany and Maria-the definition of power couple. He's pretty sure Tiffany is going to end up owning the business world one day, just like her dad; and Maria's photos are kind of amazing. Kurt has two of them hanging on his wall, and a few hidden under the bed from when they'd all snuck to San Francisco pride the previous summer). They have bake-sales and queer awareness events and on Valentine's Day the previous year they'd done Kiss-a-Grams where people could buy Valentine's cards and the GSA would deliver them throughout the day to their intended targets (complete with a kiss on the cheek and a Hershey's candy). Kurt's pretty sure he'd never blushed more, especially when he'd gone to kiss the Captain of the water polo team on the cheek. The senior ended up turning his head at the last second and kissing Kurt (for real kissing, with tongue) in front of his entire senior economics course. Kurt later found out he'd bought himself the kiss-a-gram and asked Tiffany to make sure Kurt delivered it.

Kurt dates around a bit but there's no one special. Besides he isn't allowed to get serious about a boy until he can drive (his dad's rule) and Kurt's pretty thankful for it. He likes dating, likes being treated wonderfully and having the excuse to dress up, but he doesn't really want to do more then that. He definitely doesn't want to have sex yet-not after that panel discussion the previous year when Kurt realized exactly how intimate gay sex was.

The gay guy on the panel had stressed that, over and over again. Sex was about intimacy, and while it was really wonderful and definitely something people should have when they're ready, the key was to actually be ready. Not just physically but emotionally. He talked about losing his virginity at 15 and how it had felt wonderful and amazing until he woke up alone the next morning and realized he had to call a cab to get back to his parents house. Kurt had been pretty sure that his health teacher specifically chose the individuals to speak because all of them stressed how important it was to be emotionally ready, to be in a committed relationship, to use protection.

Then the gay guy talked about genital warts and how they were *not* something you wanted on your dick (or vagina) if you could help it. Kurt took the lesson to heart; he'd even gone home and told his dad that he never wanted genital warts because seriously, the pictures had been pretty horrifying. Burt had laughed a little and teased Kurt for a few days, but then Kurt used his Google-fu to find a picture even worse then the one they showed in class. He casually left it on his dad's bed one evening, along with an entire page full of information about genital warts from Wikipedia.

Burt didn't laugh about it again; instead he took it as a sign that Kurt was mature enough to have a computer in his room (and Kurt didn't even *pretend* to understand how that was a sign of maturity but his dad always had been kind of weird), along with a TV and DVR box. Kurt just thanked his father before taping every episode of Chelsea Lately and Andy Cohen.

The point is, it's been a few years and they've settled into life in Santa Cruz, established a comfortable base and learned to love the eccentric community. Kurt feels more at home then he ever did in Lima, and while it isn't homophobia free, it is much more accepting. Kurt can walk down the street and see straight couples and gay couples and lesbian couples and he's pretty sure Tiffany's older brother is in a threesome relationship with his best friend and another girl from the senior class, but Kurt doesn't like to spread gossip.

Which is why the last thing Kurt's expecting when he walks in after school one Thursday afternoon is to see his dad sitting at the table, phone to his ear, scrawling notes all over a legal pad. Burt's supposed to be at the shop for at least a few more hours and Kurt had been planning on making a nice dinner for the two of them before tackling his homework.

Instead he waves at his dad and heads out of the kitchen, turning into the living room and pressing up against the wall. He can still hear his dad talking on the phone, saying things like: "how much is the rent?" and "you sure you don't mind?" and "thank you." Kurt doesn't really want to hear more, just knows there's a sinking feeling in the pit of his stomach. He's nervous and he knows he doesn't really have any reason to be but he's got good instincts.

JD almost always tries to copy off of Kurt's multiple choice tests because while Kurt might not know the answer, he's good at figuring out what the answer isn't. Good instincts.

Life isn't a multiple-choice test, though. Kurt can't just cancel out bad answers until he's left with the only thing that makes sense. So, Kurt has to decide what to do. He has to either go into the kitchen and sit down at the table and wait for his dad to start talking to him, or go to his room and pretend he hasn't heard anything, pretend he doesn't know that something's coming, something huge. Kurt keeps running the two choices over and over again in his mind.

The answer isn't black and white. He could go get a drink and then go to his room, see if his dad says anything. Maybe give his dad a drink because his dad is probably thirsty and Kurt's good at taking care of him, good at reminding Burt to take time for himself.

Eventually Kurt pulls himself away from the wall and walks into the kitchen. His dad is still sitting at the table so Kurt goes to the fridge and pulls out the orange juice, pours two glasses, and gives his dad one without saying a word. He takes his and is about to walk towards his room when his dad shakes his head and points to the kitchen table. Kurt settles in, stomach nervous, and stares at his dad. He doesn't drink his orange juice, just holds the cold glass between his fingers, and it's nice. It feels nice against his flushed skin.

His dad is frowning a bit and then he's saying: "Bye. Call you back later." and Kurt braces himself, prepares to hear whatever it is Burt's about to say. He knows it's going to be something big just from the expression on Burt's face.

"Hey Kiddo," Burt says. He's smiling but Kurt knows it's a forced smile, it doesn't reach his eyes. "How was school?"

Kurt stares at his dad because he really can't believe it. His dad is trying to pretend that there's nothing going on, that he isn't home from the garage early when Kurt knows he already keeps it open extra hours to catch the after-work crowd. Burt doesn't say anything though, just looks at Kurt and waits. The silence stretches out and its loud and all Kurt wants to do is ask about what he overheard but he can't do that so finally Kurt says: "Alright, I guess."

"How'd you do on that history exam?"

"It's tomorrow." Kurt says, and he knows his dad knows this because they've been studying for it together in the evenings, flashcards and amendments to memorize.

"Oh." Burt takes a breath and Kurt steels himself, sits up straighter and taller and takes a deep breath himself. Burt lets it out and turns his head, looks out the front window of their condo. He doesn't say anything, just stares, and Kurt absently takes a drink of his orange juice before he sets the glass down and looks at his father.

"Just tell me." Kurt says, ripping the band-aid off. "I know something's wrong."

"I can't get anything past you, can I?" Burt jokes but his smile is fake again and Kurt's getting even more worried.

"Dad?" And fuck, Kurt didn't want to say that. His voice sounds shaky and nervous and he really, really, doesn't want to make his dad feel worse about whatever he's about to say.

"That was Uncle Mike on the phone. The garage in Lima isn't doing too well."

"Oh." Kurt takes a deep breath. Uncle Mike isn't really his uncle, just a family friend. Burt had sold him the garage when they left. He doesn't know what this has to do with them, though. He doesn't understand why his dad is looking at him with sadness in his eyes and just-

"He asked me if I wanted to buy it back from him," Burt continues. "That or go into partnership with him."

Kurt nods, slowly. "Okay." He still doesn't really understand what his dad is getting at, why he's saying all this.

"And, see-" Burt looks at Kurt. "Family stands by each other."

"I know." Kurt nods. Burt's said that before, that family sticks together, and even though Uncle Mike isn't blood family that doesn't mean Burt doesn't have to stand by him.

"So I'm going to do it. I'm going to buy half of the business from him."

Kurt smiles because its good that his father is helping Uncle Mike, just like Uncle Mike had helped them when they moved to Santa Cruz.

"Kurt." His dad looks at him with serious eyes. "I need you to listen to me now, really, really carefully. And if you have any questions just wait, okay? I need to say this."

"Alright." And now the nervous feeling is back in his stomach.

"You know money's already been pretty tight around here. I mean, Santa Cruz is a wonderful town but its more expensive then Lima was." Kurt nods. "Well-we're going to have to move back to Lima."

Burt says this kind of fast, enough so that Kurt isn't sure he heard his dad right, because it sounded like they were moving back to Lima, back to where Kurt got his arm broken and people called him horrible names and away from JD and Tiffany and Maria and everybody he knows.

"We're not going to move there forever." Burt continues. "Just through the summer, probably. And I know it'll be tough for both of us, but Uncle Mike's family."

Kurt takes a deep breath. It's February, so what his dad is really saying is that they have to move for six months, seven maybe, and Burt's right, that really isn't forever. They'd come back and he'd be able to see JD and Tiffany and Maria again; be able to eat at Saturn and go to the teen center and maybe, maybe, when they get back he'd be old enough to go to the midnight movies without his dad being there.

"You gotta be there for family." Kurt says, still a little in shock.

"You do." Burt nods. "But Kurt-and I want you to listen to me now, and promise me something, okay?"

Kurt nods. "I promise."

"Wait until you hear what I have to say, kiddo." Burt smiles. "I know it'll be hard for both us, but I know it'll be harder for you. Lima wasn't the nicest place when you were there and people were mean to you. I want you to promise me, right now, that if anybody says anything to you that you'll tell me. If anybody pushes you or calls you a name, you'll come home right after school and tell me because I don't want you to go through that. You don't deserve it."

Kurt stares at his father because clearly his dad has thought about this, knows exactly what he's asking Kurt to go back to, and he wonders how tight things really are and if its them that needs the help more then Uncle Mike. He knows California is more expensive then Lima, and the garage is doing well here but there are other garages in Santa Cruz that have been there longer, are more established. He's seen his dad looking nervous at the end of each month, and Kurt tries to serve pasta and rice and beans after the 25th because they're cheaper to buy and its one less worry off his dad's plate.

But then Kurt thinks about being bullied, about being called names, and its not that he hasn't heard that in the past few years. There have been a couple times when he's been shopping, a few times at the movie theaters, but he's had his friends with him. They've sneered at the homophobes together and put it out of their mind. He isn't sure he can do that without JD beside him, without Tiffany cracking dirty jokes and Maria smiling lewdly and laughing.

He thinks about all this and is about to say no, about to say that he's pretty sure he can't do it without his friends next to him, when he sees his dad's face. His dad looks torn up, sad and hurt and scared; he knows what he's asking Kurt, and Kurt knows what he isn't saying, about money and how tight things really are, so Kurt does the only thing he can do. He turns to his father and looks him in the eye and says: "I promise." And Kurt's lying; he won't tell his dad unless its bad because his dad clearly has enough on his plate worrying about money and they wouldn't be in this mess if it wasn't for Kurt, if his dad hadn't had to protect him.

"Thank you, kiddo." Burt smiles and it's bright and he reaches out and messes up Kurt's hair a little. Kurt doesn't pull away, just lets his dad mess up his hair, and then he's standing up and walking around the table and leaning down to hug Burt.

"I love you dad." Kurt whispers, voice quiet. He doesn't say anything else, just clings to his dad and holds on tight.

"I love you too, kiddo." Burt says, holding on just as tightly.


	4. Two Ducks in Love Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N - I normally don't do these but wanted to preface this chapter. The majority of the chapter is Kurt and Burt having "the talk" and while it isn't too graphic, I wanted to provide a little warning.

They leave Santa Cruz almost as silently as they'd left Lima-the car packed up, u-haul filled to the brim, with Kurt in the front seat surrounded by books. JD had been there, crying a little and hugging Kurt and telling him in no uncertain terms that just because he might be 2,000 miles away did not mean he couldn't text on a regular basis and if he didn't JD might just have to tell Burt about the water polo player. Tiffany and Maria had said goodbye the day before, with photographs of Kurt's favorite places around Santa Cruz, framed and ready to be hung on the wall. They'd given him a secret set as well, from their San Fransisco trip. If Kurt couldn't be in California, then they wanted to give Kurt pieces of California to take with him. He'd cried a little, and hugged them both close.

Kurt pulls the Pride photos out as his father drove away. He wants to remember every second of that trip, every second of his time in Santa Cruz. His memories are going to be his armor in Lima, and he wants to start fortifying them.

"Whatcha looking at, Kiddo?" Burt asks.

Kurt debates with himself for half-a-minute. "Pictures of San Fransisco Pride from last summer." He figures he might as well admit it now while they're moving. It's been a year but his dad might still want to punish him and Kurt hopes that maybe his dad will think that moving is punishment enough.

"I'm glad you had fun," Burt says and Kurt's confused because he'd been expecting something more then that, anger or disappointment. If Kurt was being honest with himself, he'd realize he was trying to pick a fight. He's so *angry* that they have to leave Santa Cruz, have to leave one of the only places Kurt has ever felt *safe* in and he knows it isn't his dad's fault but yelling would make him feel better. Of course his dad isn't exactly going along with this plan though. He's being nice and *supportive*.

Kurt looks out the window, stares at the ocean as if it's the last time he's going to see it. "I'm sorry I didn't tell you about it before," Kurt whispers because he doesn't like lying to his dad; doesn't like disappointing him, and this feels like he's done both, tangled together in one act.

"You're a teenager and you're supposed to have secrets, right?" Burt shrugs. "Besides, Tiffany told me before the trip."

"Tiffany told you?" Kurt turns and stares at his dad. "And you still let me go?"

Burt stiffens a little. "Why wouldn't I let you go? Isn't it supposed to be a big thing, San Fransisco Pride? I went with you to the Santa Cruz one last year."

"Because of the amount of alcohol and drugs that are floating around it?" Kurt says, and okay, maybe he shouldn't be so sarcastic but still. "Because it was in a city far away and I lied to you and I looked at naked guys and topless girls and Tiffany tried to join in but Maria stopped her, thank god, because there are just some things I don't need to see." Kurt's rambling at this point.

"You're a good kid. You wouldn't touch drugs or alcohol," Burt shrugs.

"I looked at naked guys." Kurt says, and okay, at this point he's *definitely* just trying to get a reaction out of his dad because really, really, he hadn't. He looked at guys in speedos, guys with chaps on that didn't cover their butts, guys with four packs and six packs and beer bellies but none of them had been naked.

"I'm pretty sure you can find worse things on the web, and you've had that in your bedroom for at least a year." Burt says dryly.

"No." Kurt shakes his head. "This we do not talk about."

"What, porn?" Burt laughs a little. "You're 16 Kurt, and I'm pretty sure by this point you know what it is, and where to find it."

"You're my father. There's like, a thing. Separating you and all thoughts of sex."

"So I take it you don't want to discuss how far you've gone, then?" Burt asks and now Kurt is shifting, looking at his father, and yes, okay, he can definitely see that is father is a bit uncomfortable.

Kurt debates turning the radio on but he actually thinks he might want to have this conversation, might want to tell his dad. "Why would you even ask me that?" Kurt isn't proud of it, but he whines this question, tries to make his voice annoying and childlike because maybe, maybe, he can get his father off this topic for the sake of both their sanity's.

"Kurt-" Kurt looks at his father. "Just-I want you to be able to talk to me about stuff. I mean, if you can't talk to me about this, how are you going to be able to talk to me about stuff in Lima? About what's happening at school and missing Santa Cruz, and whatever adventures JD and Tiffany have gotten into?"

Kurt sighs. "Fine, alright. You've made a sufficiently compelling argument."

"Okay." Burt nods. "Um. First kiss?"

"Have I had one, or where was it/who was it with?" Kurt asks.

"Both." Burt's eyes are staring at the road in front of them and Kurt's glad. He isn't sure he can have this conversation and still look his dad in the eye.

"Um. The captain of the water polo team, his history class, Valentine's day."

"In front of his entire class, huh?" Kurt can't tell if his dad sounds weirded out or impressed. It's better for both of them if Kurt thinks his dad is weirded out though, so that's what he'll choose to believe.

"Yeah, well. He ordered one of those Valentine's day cards from the GSA and I had to kiss his cheek and he turned his head."

"Oh." Burt laughs a little and Kurt flushes.

"I mean, we did it again later, after school. That one was better." Kurt whispers the last part of the sentence, hoping his dad doesn't hear it.

"But you didn't date, right?" Burt asks.

"Well-" Kurt sighs. This whole honesty thing is kind of a drag. "Look, I know you told me no serious boyfriend until at least 16, and I haven't had one, I promise! Just-we did go on a few dates. And it was weird and then we didn't do anymore dates."

"Ok." Burt says. "What about, um-"

"Dad," and Kurt's blushing now and he hopes what he's about to say isn't what his dad is trying to ask. "Are you trying to ask how far I've gone?"

And okay, Kurt's pretty sure he can just die of embarrassment now because his dad is nodding and this is seriously, seriously, not what he expected to be talking about as they drive away from Santa Cruz.

"Um-I haven't really done much more. Nothing under any clothes at all."

"Okay. That's good. I mean, I know we talked a little bit about sex when you came home from the panel last year, and I know you know the details, right?"

Kurt's beyond blushing now, he's bright red and part of him just wants to fake a text message from JD or Maria or somebody to get out of this conversation. But yeah, his dad is right, they have to be able to talk about these things, talk in general really. Lima is going to be really different then Santa Cruz and Kurt's going to need his dad more then ever.

"Yeah, I know the details," Kurt agrees. "And I know about STD's and HIV and how to have safe sex." He mutters the last part because part of him still can't believe he's talking to his father about sex.

"Um, good." Burt agrees, staring out at the road. He's silent for a minute or two and Kurt hopes that's the end of the awkward conversation because he isn't sure he can't handle much more of this-he's already bright red and tomato really isn't his look. "You know why I want you to wait for a boyfriend, right?" Burt asks and Kurt sighs because of course that's not the end of the conversation.

"Because it embarrassess you to think about your little boy having sex?" Kurt asks and okay, that might be a bit mean but this entire conversation is a bit mean, in Kurt's opinion.

"Not quite, buddy." Burt laughs again and Kurt's happy because his dad hasn't laughed as freely in a long time. "It's because you're so damn emotional, and that isn't a bad thing. Just-you feel things so deeply and I want you to be older and a bit more mature before you start dating because otherwise-" Burt just shakes his head.

Kurt's silent while his dad says this. He thinks his dad is probably right, that Kurt does have the tendency to fall hard and fast and he can see where his dad is coming from, trying to protect him from the world. "I get it." Kurt finally says.

Burt shakes his head. "Just-Kurt-you have to know you're the world to me. You are literally the most important person in my life and I-I just want to protect you for as long as I can."

Kurt blinks back tears. "Dad-"

"Let me finish, okay kiddo?" Burt interrupts him. "Just-sex is easy, it feels good and it makes you feel powerful and connected to somebody, and I want you to have that. It's just-a lot of people get confused by it too. It feels good so they want to do it and they don't think about who they're doing it with. And that's the most important part. You're vulnerable during sex and Kurt, son, I love you but you don't do vulnerable well. You're too much like me, too much in control."

Kurt doesn't know what to say because obviously his dad has thought this out, has thought about Kurt having sex and who he'll be having it with, and just-Kurt hasn't given sex this much thought before. And maybe this means he needs to, that he needs to think about it more then he has and think about what it means.

"So I wanted you to wait," Burt says and Kurt jerks around because he'd kind of forgotten that his dad was still talking. "I wanted you to wait until you were older, until you were more mature so you would understand what I'm talking about and pick out some boy who makes you feel important, who makes you feel special, so that when they see you like that, when you're vulnerable in front of them? They're vulnerable right back. And you'll both treat it like it deserves to be treated. Treat each other like you deserve to be treated."

Burt falls silent then, and Kurt is crying because he knows his dad loves him, he's always known this, but right now he feels like his dad can actually see him and that's something entirely different.

"Thanks, dad." Kurt finally whispers, once he's stopped crying. "I love you." Burt doesn't say anything in response, just reaches over and holds onto Kurt's hand.

The two drive in silence, holding hands, for the rest of the afternoon. Kurt's pretty sure he's never felt as close to his dad as he did right now.

When he glances at the photo album in his lap, of his pictures from San Fransisco Pride, he thinks maybe his memories of Santa Cruz aren't his only armor. He looks at the older man driving his truck, scowling at a car in front of them, and yeah. He has his dad. He's pretty sure he won't need anything else.


	5. Two Ducks in Love Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **A/N:** Please note I made some very deliberate changes with Kurt's characterization, starting in this chapter. I did this on purpose and will go into it in more detail at the end of this chapter, so please read it with an open mind.

Kurt doesn't hesitate before calling JD, even though with the time difference its something like 4:00 a.m. in Santa Cruz and JD will probably cuss him out and complain about how Kurt is a sadistic fuck who gets off on waking him up early. Kurt waits as the phone rings and laughs a little when JD finally answers it.

"This better be life or death, dude." JD sounds sleepy but alert and Kurt's smiling because, okay, yes, he might actually be a sadistic fuck who enjoys torturing his friends.

"I'm starting at McKinley today," is all Kurt ends up saying. JD doesn't respond, just sits in silence on the phone, and it feels nice, normal, to just hear JD breath and pretend for a second that the two of them are going to meet up at the Santa Cruz Coffee Roasting Company to grab drinks before school and that Kurt will go to first period and see Mrs. Vasquez and answer questions in Spanish. Kurt can imagine his entire day in Santa Cruz, imagine lunch outside, complaining about seagulls and how he probably was going to burn because he forgot his sunscreen; he can actually taste the enchilada's he'd pick up after school for his dad and he can see the smile on his dad's face when he drops them off at the shop.

Eventually JD talks and the moment is broken: "What're you going to wear?" And Kurt smiles because JD hates talking about clothing, hates fashion, but he knows to ask.

"I don't know." Kurt sighs, and this is exactly why he called J, exactly why he's sitting on his bed even though the clock is inching closer and closer to 8:00 a.m. and he'll need to leave soon. "Just-" Kurt breaks off that train of thought because he can't believe he's even thinking it, is ashamed he's thinking it, but it's there in the forefront of his mind and he'd be an idiot if he just pushed the thought away, right?

"What is it Kurt?" JD asks, and his voice is quiet and sympathetic and Kurt wishes his best friend were there right now because he would tell Kurt what to do, tell him how to act, and remind him that being himself wasn't a crime.

Kurt takes a deep breath. "I was wondering if I should dress down." Kurt whispers the thought and thinks of everything he isn't saying because he doesn't need to. JD knows him and knows exactly what he's leaving out.

JD is quiet for a second and Kurt breathes easier because at least the thought is out there, at least he isn't the only one thinking it, wondering if maybe it would be better for Kurt to stay in the closet until he got a better handle on the situation. "Kurt-" JD sounds careful, precise, and Kurt sits up straighter in response. "I can't make that choice for you. You know that."

Kurt nods and then remembers that JD isn't there, he can't see Kurt nod. "I know." Kurt hates how quiet his voice sounds.

"What do you want to do?" JD finally asks. "Do you want to get the lay of the land, evaluate things?"

And that makes Kurt breath easier because that's it, exactly. He doesn't know what to expect from McKinley. Doesn't know the first thing about Lima anymore except the last time he was here he got his arm broken by bullies who couldn't handle the thought of someone being different. They didn't even care if it was the truth and that's what scares Kurt more then anything.

"I wish you were here," Kurt says. "I'd feel safer."

And it's almost an epiphany moment because it's not about being out and proud right now, at least not yet. Right now Kurt wants to feel *safe* and the best way to feel safe is to blend in, go with the crowd and try not to stand out because standing out meant you were different, meant people picked on you and hurt you and humiliated you and Kurt didn't think he could handle that. Not without Tiffany and Maria and JD by his side.

"I want you to be safe, Kurt." JD whispers this and Kurt smiles.

"Me too, J." Kurt replies.

"So you know what you're going to do, right?" JD asks. "Because, dude, Kurt, I love you man but it's 4:30 in the MORNING here."

Kurt laughs because he can picture JD laying in bed, tired and trying to be awake but failing miserably, not even able to keep his eyes open. "Go back to sleep, J. I'll text you later." And Kurt hangs up the phone.

He gets dressed quickly, pulling on nice jeans that accentuate his butt, and a shirt that brings out the color of his eyes-but nothing too nice, nothing too fashionable. He debates which sweatshirt to wear (he has nearly 30, all told, ranging from designer to Santa Cruz High pep to ratty things he wears around his dad's shop) and finally grabs his "Nor Cal" one out of habit.

Kurt runs upstairs and is almost surprised to see his dad at the table, waiting for Kurt with an egg white omelet already prepared. He sits down and can't help but smile as his dad passes him a plate with fresh avocado and salsa for his eggs.

"Thanks, it looks great!" He says, smiling.

"You deserve it, Kiddo," Burt reaches out to ruffle Kurt's hair but Kurt jerks away.

"Dad! I just spent at least 10 minutes styling it," Kurt whines before digging into his amazing breakfast.

"Yeah, well..." Burt shrugs. "You look good, Kiddo. How's JD?"

Kurt swallows his bite of egg before shrugging. "How'd you know I called him?"

Burt laughs. "Kurt, you call JD before you go to the coffee shop to see if he wants anything. I figured you'd call him before school today."

Kurt laughs, because yeah, he and J might be a bit codependent. "He's good. Complained that I woke him up, but you know he's a bit dramatic."

Burt nods. He can still remember how worked up JD had gotten over getting Kurt the best Christmas present the year before, insisting it be perfect because Kurt didn't deserve anything less. "I always figured you'd date him, you know."

Kurt smiles. "Alas, he prefers his partners with breasts and a vagina. Can't say I see the appeal myself, but, to each his own."

"You ready for school?" Burt takes a sip of his coffee and looks at Kurt. "Your outfit isn't quite what I was expecting."

Kurt nods at this. "Um-I talked with J, and, well..." Kurt takes a bite of avocado and chews it slowly. "I thought I'd get the lay of the land, you know? Figure out-"

Burt nods. "I understand."

Kurt looks at his father and immediately wishes he hadn't. His dad looks pensive; he seems smaller then usual and Kurt's not sure if he's imaging it but he'd almost swear his dad was crying.

And then Burt's talking: "Kurt, I'm so-"

"No, dad." Kurt shakes his head, cutting the apology off. "This," Kurt gestures towards his outfit, "is not your fault. I understand why we had to move back here and I don't blame you for it at all. Family takes care of family, right?" Kurt looks sternly at his father and waits for his father to nod. "Good. Now, just because I'm choosing to dress more comfortably today does not mean anything. I'm not going to run back into the closet, I'm still out and proud, I'm just-" Kurt pauses, takes a breath. "I'm just checking McKinley out before I start wearing some of my nicer things to school. I wouldn't want them ruined by immature high schoolers, okay?"

Burt nods then reaches out and places his hand on top of Kurt's. "I'm proud of you, kiddo."

Kurt smiles. "I'm proud of you too, dad."

##

Kurt's standing outside of the guidance counselors office, waiting to go in and get his schedule. It's early and most of the students aren't there yet, but so far McKinley looks like a regular high school. Kurt and JD joked about it being evil incarnate, maybe even on top of a hellmouth, but right now it looked like every other high school Kurt had ever seen. Lockers lined the halls and students were milling around, joking and laughing and okay-Kurt rubbed his eyes because he's pretty sure he just saw somebody throw a slushy in another kids face and clearly he must be imaging things.

"Kurt Hummel?" A voice says, drawing his attention back to the guidance counselor's office where a petite young woman stood, gesturing for him to enter her office.

"Hi." Kurt says, walking into the room. "I'm Kurt Hummel." He almost holds out his hand but something stops him. He isn't sure if its the smell of chemicals in the air or the four bottles of antibacterial hand sanitizer lining her desk, but he thinks he might want to play it on the safe side.

"I'm Emma Pillsbury, but most of the students call me Ms. P." She sits down and reaches for a file. "Now, you're transferring here from Santa Cruz, correct? And you're a sophomore?"

Kurt nods. "Yes, although I was in mostly upper level classes in Santa Cruz."

"Alright, then." Ms. Pillsbury looked at her computer. "So, you need to take English, Math, Science and History. But you do have some room in your schedule for an elective or two. Anything in particular you're interested in?"

Kurt thinks for a second. "As much as I don't like it, I should probably continue with Spanish. It looks good on college applications."

Emma nods. "Hmm, well, you'll have to take a placement test to see what level you should be in. I'll set you up with the Spanish teacher during lunch, if that's alright with you."

Kurt nods. "That works."

"You have space for one more elective," Ms. Pillsbury says. "We have a few that you could consider-home economics, drama, computer science, auto shop-"

Kurt's ear's perk up at the mention of auto shop. He's been working in his dad's shop for years now and he knows his way around a car. It'd be nice to have at least one class where he's guaranteed an easy A, even if it would most likely be filled with jocks.

"Ms. Pillsbury-" She looks up. "How accepting is this school? I mean, I want to take auto shop but I also don't want to get beaten up every day, so." Kurt shrugs.

"Why do you think you'd be beaten up?" Ms. Pillsbury asks. She sounds genuinely interested in the answer, almost like she cares about the students, and Kurt smiles in response.

"Well, I'm gay. And I was pretty open about it in Santa Cruz. Lima-" Kurt pauses, trying to think of a tactful way to say it's a much more conservative state.

"Isn't California," Ms. Pillsbury finishes for him. Kurt nods because yes, that's it exactly.

"Well. There aren't any openly gay students here that I'm currently aware of." Ms. Pillsbury says this carefully and Kurt knows she's weighing every word, debating with herself about how honest she should be. "And we don't currently have a GSA, or anything. But-" and her face lights up as she's saying this: "I can introduce you to Rachel Berry! She's being raised by a gay couple and probably has a better idea about the climate here in Lima."

Kurt doesn't respond for a second, just looks at the guidance counselor because he isn't sure if he should be happy to have at least one potential ally in this place, or horrified because he's pretty sure he remembers Rachel from middle school (well, he remembers gold stars, and singing) and if he's right then she's kind of a scary girl. "Um."

"Rachel's in the Glee club, if you like to sing." Ms. Pillsbury offers when she sees Kurt isn't as enthusiastic about the idea as she'd hoped he be.

"No, no. Sounds great. I'd like to meet her." Kurt finally forces himself to say. Because even he isn't idiotic enough to turn away a potential ally. "And a glee club, you say? I do enjoy singing." Actually, it might be the first positive thing Kurt's heard about since moving back to this hellhole.

"Great!" Ms. Pillsbury smiles. "Now, do you want me to sign you up for auto shop? You can always transfer if it doesn't work out."

"Yes," Kurt agrees. "I think I'd like that."

Ms. Pillsbury taps a few keys on the computer and is then printing out a schedule for him. "I put you in Spanish 3 for now, but if it's too hard you can drop back down to Spanish 2. I imagine, though, that living in California you've probably had more exposure to the language then most of our students."

And then it's done. There's a complete schedule lying in front of Kurt and suddenly it's all real in a way that it wasn't just that morning. He's really here, about to go to geometry, and he's really back in the closet (as much as he denied it to his father), and Tiffany and Maria aren't there to whisper dirty jokes to get him out of his funk and JD definitely isn't here to poke him into doing something stupid, like doing those damn kiss-a-grams. Kurt feels tired and alone and part of him just wants to curl up into a ball and cry, but he can't. He's only here for six months, maybe, and then they'll go home. He'll see JD and Maria and Tiffany and smell the ocean and eat ice cream from Maryanne's and go to the teen center and everything will be normal again. He just has to get through this first.

It'll be good for him, probably. He couldn't live forever in his Santa Cruz bubble and Ohio is as far away from that bubble as he could ever imagine being, and he isn't here alone. His dad is here and it sounds like this Rachel girl might be a friend and really, really, it's only six months. Six months is not forever.

"Are you okay, Kurt?" Ms. Pillsbury asks.

Kurt looks at her and nods. "Just a bit overwhelmed."

"I can imagine. Let me page Rachel and have her show you around the school."

"Sounds good." Kurt agrees because there's really nothing else he can do.

While Ms. Pillsbury is on the phone talking to someone about arranging for Kurt to have a guide, Kurt pulls his cell out. He scrolls through the lists of contacts and is debating texting JD because the other teen would know what to say, know what to do, and Kurt could really use his strength right now.

Suddenly his phone buzzes in his hands. Kurt looks down and sees a single text message waiting for him, from JD.

_Be strong._

And okay, it's cheesy and Kurt almost wants to laugh, but it's J and he knows Kurt better then probably anyone and that's exactly what Kurt needed to hear. He's about to text JD back when there's a knock on Ms. Pillsbury's door and suddenly the girl he saw earlier, the one that he thought someone through a slushy on, is standing there.

"Ms. Pillsbury, you wanted to see me?" She asks.

Emma smiles. "Rachel, meet Kurt. He's new and I was hoping you could show him around. He sounded interested in maybe joining Glee, so-"

"I'd love too!" Rachel smiles bright before turning at looking at Kurt.

"Hi, I'm Rachel." She holds out her hand.

Kurt stands out of habit and smiles at the brunette. "Kurt." He replies, shaking her hand.

"Well, let's see your schedule!" Rachel says, guiding Kurt out of Ms. Pillsbury's office and into the empty hallway. "You already missed most of first period, so if you want I can just give you a tour and then show you the way to Auto Shop-" Rachel blinks when she reads this and then looks at Kurt. "Um, no offense, but you don't look like an auto shop kind of guy."

Kurt smiles. "My dad's a mechanic. I grew up around cars and figured an easy A wouldn't hurt."

Rachel nods. "Well, lets get started, shall we?"

##

 **A/N Continued:** Okay, before anyone says anything, yes, I had Kurt decide he doesn't necessarily want to be out at McKinley. Think of it this way: Kurt wasn't out before, in middle school, and still he got harassed and his arm got broken because people *thought* he was gay. His father moved him across the country because of how intolerant Lima was! Kurt flourished in Santa Cruz, was open and honest and talked to people and has genuine self-esteem and he *likes* himself. He has friends who know he's gay and they crack jokes and go to pride and just have *fun* together. Now he's in an new environment where he's been hurt before and he's lost most of his support network and Ms. Pillsbury has said there aren't any out gay students whereas in Santa Cruz the water polo captain KISSED him in front of the entire class. Of course Kurt's terrified to be out, he doesn't know how to be out without having a support network! He'll be developing it with people from Glee and *cough*Blaine*cough* over the next few months but for right now he's a terrified teenager, in a school that he saw someone get *slushied* at before he even got his schedule, and he wants to be safe.


	6. Two Ducks in Love Chapter 6

Kurt walks into auto shop and looks around, half impressed with the layout and wondering exactly what tools McKinley has and what he'll get to work with. He's pretty sure high school auto shop covers the basics, like oil changes and tire rotations, and maybe brake inspections; everything he's been doing since he was old enough to stand on a soap box (and a stool and a chair and whatever else he found lying around his dad's garage) so he isn't actually worried.

"Hey, new kid!" Kurt around and sees a guy with a Mohawk standing against the far wall, almost leering at him but Kurt's pretty sure that's just his imagination talking.

With that in mind Kurt walks over to the mohawked kid and says "hey," nodding to the punk. At least Kurt *thought* he was a punk-Kurt isn't very good with labeling people, unless they were hippies. In Santa Cruz almost *everyone* was a hippie, so all Kurt had needed to do was look at their feet. Birkenstocks, Crocs, sandals of almost any type - hippie. He's pretty sure Lima won't be that easy.

"Heard you moved here from California-dude, sucks to be you." The kid says this while texting.

"Tell me about it." Kurt says without thinking, because really, it does kind of suck to be him.

"Why'd you choose Lima of all places?" The kid's still texting and Kurt almost wants to mention it, say how rude it is to have a conversation with someone without even looking them in the eye.

"Grew up here," Kurt offers as a half-hearted explanation. No need to get into detail with someone he doesn't know yet, someone who still hasn't looked up from his cell phone. "You know, it's rude to talk to someone while texting." Kurt finally says.

"Not texting-sexting." the mohawked kid looks up at Kurt. "And I can't stop now, it's just getting good."

Kurt's face blanks at this. Sexting in the middle of auto shop. In the middle of the day. At school. "But you're in class?" Kurt finally asks.

"So?" the boy shrugs before finally slipping his phone back into his pocket. "That should hold Santana for a bit at least."

Kurt nods and then looks around the classroom again. It's starting to fill up. "Santana your girlfriend?" he asks, mainly to keep the conversation going. If he's talking to someone then he doesn't have to stand around awkwardly, doesn't have to pretend to try to fit in.

"Fuck no," the boy shakes his head. "I'm a stud and there are tons of girls in Lima that I need to please, you know?"

"Well, stud-" Kurt begins but then the absurdity of what he's saying makes him stop. It's his first day at a new school and he's already calling some guy a stud. JD's going to crack up about this, he's pretty sure.

"Call me Puck, dude." The boy says. "And you're Hummel, right?"

"Um-yes. How'd you know?"

"Dude, Rachel totally texted everyone about the new kid for New Directions." Puck shrugs. "It wasn't that hard to figure out."

Kurt thinks about this for a second. He's only known Rachel for forty minutes, had only halfway agreed to even think about singing for the Glee club, and she's already sending out mass texts. Then he pauses and looks at the boy in front of him. He has a Mohawk. He's wearing a letterman's jacket. And he sings for New Directions?

"You're in New Directions?" Kurt doesn't mean to sound so startled but he'd been picturing people like Rachel, like him-geeks and loners. But this boy obviously wasn't, if his ego was anything to go by.

Puck shrugs. "Yeah, well. It's kinda fun?" He offers this up half-heartedly and Kurt isn't stupid enough to think that's the real reason but whatever. It's not like he's being totally honest either.

"Okay." Kurt says. "Looks like class is going to start soon, though."

"Eh, Hale doesn't really do the whole starting class on time thing." Puck looks around the auto shop but doesn't move. "Besides, we're far enough into the semester that most of us are just doing independent projects, you know?"

Kurt nods at this, pretends he has some semblance of a clue about what Puck's talking about, but he doesn't. He's never had a class like that before; he's used to structured environments where instructors start class on time and everyone's in their seats waiting when the bell rings.

"Anyways, I gotta go." Puck pushes away from the wall. "See you around, Hummel." And he walks out of the classroom.

Somehow Kurt thinks McKinley isn't going to be anything like Santa Cruz High. He just has this feeling.

##

By the time Kurt makes it to lunch his head is spinning. Between auto shop and Spanish, Geometry and a truly horrible English teacher who made him stand up in front of the entire class and list off his favorite books and literary characters, he's pretty sure the day can't get worse. He'd spent the latter half of English, after he was done embarrassing himself by listing books that nobody had ever read, including the English teacher (and really, _Man in the High Castle_ was a classic, and _Naked Lunch_ should be mandatory reading for every teenager who was even thinking about using drugs) texting Tiffany and Maria under the desk.

Instead he walks into the cafeteria and looks around and can't help but compare it to Santa Cruz; can't help but miss the trees and the seagulls and the incessant talk about whether or not Mr. Gregory's hair was real or why Mr. Keller insisted on wearing such short shorts even in the middle of winter. Kurt packs his lunch-partially to be more frugal but mostly because he actually likes eating healthy food, having his dad eat healthy food-so he ignores the hot lunch line and debates where to sit.

He's surprised when Rachel waves him over to a table filled with people, but he walks over and sits towards the end of the bench. He smiles and looks at everyone, but doesn't talk. It turns out he doesn't have to because suddenly Rachel's sitting across from him, smiling and laughing, telling him about her horrible World Civ. class and how she was pretty sure the teacher still thought Germany was two countries.

Kurt laughs, appreciatively. "I had a teacher like that for Life Sciences," Kurt says. "Every time he started talking about Natural Selection he'd get this look on his face and make sure to emphasize the theory behind it all, like he didn't believe it. Which, fine. But why would you teach Life Sciences if you disagreed with the entire concept?" And Rachel laughs a little even though it isn't the funniest of stories.

"How are you liking Lima so far?" Rachel asks.

Kurt shrugs. "I mean, I grew up here, so." He doesn't offer anything more.

"Dude, I thought you looked familiar!" The boy a few seats away says. He's wearing a letterman's jacket and Kurt thinks his face is familiar but he can't place it.

"Yeah, went to school right down the street at Garfield Middle until 8th grade," Kurt offers. The boy frowns.

"Hmmm. Well-it's good your back, dude. I'm Finn." The boy says this with a mouthful of food and Kurt's thankful for all of his time with JD because otherwise he'd feel obliged to comment on how absolutely disgusting Finn was acting.

JD had made him almost immune to it, though. There'd been a two-week period, almost back when they first met, where whenever Kurt even looked a little grossed out JD had opened his mouth wide and said something about Kurt liking See Food. Kurt had learned to hide his facial tells pretty quickly because otherwise JD would go around telling fart jokes and poop jokes and chewing with his mouth open, all just to get a rise out of Kurt. It was good practice for now, although it was probably not at all what the other boy had intended.

"Nice," Rachel comments and Kurt realizes he's zoned out and missed something because Rachel's looking at him and Finn is kind looking in his direction, although Kurt really can't tell if he's look at him or at Rachel's breasts. Probably Rachel's breasts, though, chances were Finn was just as straight as he appeared.

"Hmm, sorry?" Kurt looks at her. "I was thinking about what classes I have this afternoon."

"Don't remind me, I have a math test," somebody else says. Kurt nods sympathetically (or rather, he hopes it appeared sympathetic. He rather enjoyed math and didn't dread the occasional test in it).

"Are you joining us for Glee practice tomorrow?" Rachel asks.

Kurt shrugs. "Probably. Still trying to figure things out, you know?"

"I understand. Why, when I moved here from Columbus with my two gay dads I thought it would take me months to get over the shock. But I kept to my rigorous MySpace schedule and joined the Glee club, and adjusted in almost no time!" Rachel says all this in a single breath and Kurt is actually a little envious of her breath control because the things he could do with that talent.

"How do you do that?" He asks, almost reflexively.

Rachel looks at him, a little confused. "Um, do what?"

Kurt tilts his head a bit and looks at her through the corner of his eye. "You have great breath control. It probably helps with your singing." And it hurts a little to say this because if Tiffany or Maria was there they'd make a joke about what else it would help with and JD would pretend to be horrified and then ask if anyone wanted to practice on him, because it sounded *interesting* and Kurt would make a joke about how J needed to find a girl who actually liked dick, and Tiffany and Maria would have laughed and the entire session would have eventually turned into a dirty joke spree. He can almost hear the lesbian jokes Tiffany would invent right there on the spot, about plastic tasting horrible and that was why god invented flavored condoms.

Instead, Rachel looks at him and nobody cracks the joke that's right there on the tip of Kurt's tongue. "I do!" She smiles. "I've been practicing every day since I was three, you know." And Kurt refrains from making a joke about that as well, because there's easy and then there's too easy. And Kurt doesn't know this group well enough to know how they'd react. And then the bell rings and Kurt's looking around at the emptying cafeteria and wondering how exactly he's going to get to his history class because he's not quite sure where L367 is.

"Hey." Kurt looks up and Puck is standing next to the table, shifting on his feet and Kurt thinks he looks a little uncomfortable. "I've got math next, over in the L wing. You coming?" and Kurt realizes that the teen is waiting for him to follow, is going to show him around a little, and it's probably because Rachel asked him to but its nice all the same.

"Yeah, thanks." Kurt stands. "I appreciate it."

"Don't mention it." Puck looks around and leans in. "Seriously, don't mention it. If people found out I was actually going to math I'm pretty sure they'd think it was the apocalypse."

Kurt smiles. "I hear that."

"Yeah." Puck turns and walks out of the cafeteria, not once looking back to make sure Kurt was following.

##

"So, did you survive?" Burt asks as his son walks into the condo they're renting.

"Indeed I did." Kurt smiles as he says this.

"Nothing to complain about?" And his father is looking at him, staring at him, and Kurt smiles because he doesn't even have to lie.

"Not a thing! I met this girl, Rachel, whose part of the glee club at school and she's kind of cool. She's being raised by two gay dads, and I can't believe I just said that." Kurt shakes his head. "She like, goes around announcing it a bit, to make sure people don't forget that there's some hint of diversity at the school." Kurt smiles because honestly, it's kind of nice, even though he'll never say that.

"That's good." Burt smiles at his son. "What'd you get for electives?"

Kurt sighs and flops back against the rather comfortable couch in their living room. "The dreaded Spanish, although they promoted me to Spanish 3 instead of Spanish 2 because apparently living in California means I'm more exposed to the language." Burt laughs a little. "I'm also in auto shop, which should be quite the easy A."

And Burt smiles at this, reaches out and pats Kurt on the shoulder. "You're not going to tell them that you work for the shop, are you?"

Kurt grins a little. "I mean, if they don't ask it's not like I'm lying, right?"

"Kiddo." Burt laughs at his son. "You're more like your mom every day."

Burt settles down on the couch next to his son and sighs. "I gotta ask, kiddo. You know that, right?" Kurt looks at his father and nods. "So nobody said anything? Nobody hassled you?"

Kurt frowns a little, and sighs. "Dad-" He takes another deep breath. "I'm-it's not going to be like Santa Cruz, I don't think. I mean. I don't think I'm going to be-out" Kurt whispers this. He's not happy to force himself back into the closet but he doesn't know anyone here, doesn't have anyone to guard his back and he's already seen one girl get a frozen drink thrown in her face just because she likes to sing. He's pretty sure it'd be worse if people knew he liked to suck cock—in a purely theoretical way. He hasn't gone that far, yet.

"You sure, kiddo? Are you sure that's what you want to do?"

Kurt nods, quickly. "I'm not going to hide, you know? Not going to suddenly date a girl or talk about boobs and stuff. And I'll tell my friends, when I make some. I just-" Kurt doesn't get a chance to finish his sentence. Instead, his dad is leaning into him and hugging him close and Kurt's been trying all day not to cry and suddenly he's sobbing and this is exactly when he didn't want to cry. He doesn't want his dad to worry about him, doesn't want his dad to know how much he's already missing Santa Cruz and everything they left behind.

"It's alright, Kurt." His dad whispers. He rubs Kurt's back and holds him close and it feels comforting and comfortable. "It's alright."

Eventually Kurt stops crying and pulls away. He feels better, and it's weird because his eyes are red and puffy and he looks horrible and he's going to have to moisturize for at least an hour this evening. "Thanks, dad." Kurt whispers.

Burt looks at him and shakes his head. "Wait a sec, Kurt, okay?" and Burt stands up and walks into the kitchen. Kurt hears rummaging and odd noises, but he waits on the couch like his dad asked. Finally Burt comes back into the family room and sits down across from Kurt, in an armchair. He has some papers in his hands and Kurt wonders what they are.

"Look, I kinda thought-I mean, after this morning and your outfit-" Burt sighs. "I'm not saying this right. Just-" He pauses, takes a deep breath, lets it out. "There's a group, in Columbus, and I know it's a couple hours away which is kind of a bummer, but. It's for gay teens. They meet a couple times a week and do stuff together." Burt holds the papers out to Kurt. "I thought, maybe, you'd want to go. Maybe take that Rachel girl with you."

Kurt blinks because honestly, this is the last thing he ever expected his father to say to him. But, it's nice and he finds himself nodding and blinking back tears and taking the papers from his dad.

"It's kind of like that center, you know, in Santa Cruz. But they don't have a building, just meet in different places." Burt looks at his son. "I know this is hard for you, Kurt. I just want you to have people, you know?"

Kurt nods. And then he thinks back on what his dad said and his eyes widen a bit. "Dad, can I ask you something?" And his dad nods, of course he nods. Kurt takes a deep breath. "In Santa Cruz, when we went to Saturn that first time. Did you know about the center before? Did you know about-me?"

Burt smiles at him. "Kurt, I've known since you were 3 and asked for sensible heals for your birthday. The center-Mrs. Westen, from across the street? She suggested it and I thought it was a good idea. And I'd heard Saturn had good food, so." Burt shrugs, as if to say it was an easy decision.

Kurt nods, smiles. Because of course his dad did. His dad moved him across the country because he wanted Kurt to have a normal high school, wanted him to be somewhere safe. He obviously went online and searched for a GLBT youth group for Kurt, so he'd have people even here, in this place.

"I love you, dad." Kurt says, and hopes his dad hears everything he isn't saying. Hopes he hears how much his dad means to him because Kurt's pretty sure he can't think of a single kid who got luckier in the father department then him.

"You're my life, Kurt." His dad whispers this, but Kurt hears it, every word. And this time, when he starts crying, it's not because of what he's lost, leaving Santa Cruz. He hopes his dad can see the difference.


	7. Two Ducks in Love Chapter 7

Kurt's first week at McKinley goes by in a blur of names he doesn't remember and faces that look the same. The only things that stand out are Glee Club and Rachel Berry, which makes sense because as far as Kurt is concerned, the two are practically synonymous for each other. Kurt's pretty sure Glee wouldn't exist without Rachel, and after a few conversations with Rachel? He's not so sure she'd survive without Glee. It's horribly symbiotic and Kurt can't help but laugh whenever he thinks about it. Luckily for him, Rachel appears to have a sense of humor about the whole thing. Maybe. Kind of. A tiny bit.

Which is why he's standing here, outside her front door, getting ready to knock. Except he doesn't have to-the door opens and he sees a tall man standing there, looking at him with a slight smile. "Kurt, I presume?" He asks and Kurt nods.

"Kurt Hummel." He says, holding out his hand. "It's nice to meet you Mr. Berry."

"I believe the pleasure is all mine." He laughs a little and shakes Kurt's hand. "Rachel's upstairs fretting over something, if you want to go on up. Second door on the left."

"Thanks, I appreciate it." Kurt smiles at the older man before heading up the stairs. As soon as he hits the top stair he can hear Rachel singing and okay, it makes him smile because of course she is. She's sitting in her room and singing loud enough to be heard in the hall and she sounds *happy* and it makes Kurt miss Tiffany and Maria because this is something they'd do together-show up at Kurt's house and sing (well, okay, dance too) and then Kurt's father would show up and he'd laugh at them a bit and say something about sandwiches in the kitchen and Kurt would smile and just, it felt *normal* like nothing has since he's moved.

He knocks on Rachel's door and opens it without waiting and he's grinning now because Rachel Berry has a hairbrush in her hand and she's singing along to POP music on the radio and wearing jeans and a sweater that isn't as horrible as her others ones, mainly because it's a solid color and there isn't a horse or unicorn anywhere in sight. "Kurt!" she says when she spins around and sees him and then she fumbles for the remote for her radio and the room is plunged into silence.

"Hey Rachel. Good moves there." Kurt says this with a straight face and he can tell she's taking it like an insult as her face falls and okay, he needs to not mess this up. "No, seriously, you looked like you were having fun." And just like that her face isn't falling anymore but she's looking at him a bit uncertainly.

"Thanks?" She says and Kurt nods.

"You have a lovely home," Kurt says, stepping into her room. It's pink and childish but it suits Rachel and he doesn't want to make her frown again so he doesn't say anything, just bites his tongue and he thinks absently that J would be proud of him because they'd talked a little about being aware of others feelings after Kurt had (ACCIDENTALLY) made a freshman girl cry after insulting her outfit.

"I'm glad you could make it," Rachel says. She's still flustered and looking a bit unsure of herself.

"It'll be fun, right?" He looks at her and smiles, trying to put her at ease. "I don't know many people here yet and you seem pretty on top of things." And okay, that's probably exactly the wrong thing to say because now she's looking at him a bit hurt, like he's just using her and seriously, has he always sucked this hard at making friends? With JD it'd be easy-just dancing around with DDR and goofing off during the summer. Tiffany and Maria came with the GSA and they appreciated Kurt's dry sarcasm. But Rachel's looking at him and it's _hard_.

"Yes," Rachel says and Kurt pauses for a second because he doesn't even remember what she's responding to.

Kurt looks at her and then looks around her room, pulling her desk chair out and sitting down. She watches him and doesn't say anything. "Look, can I be honest, Rachel?" Kurt finally asks. She nods, tucking a piece of hair behind her ear and okay, she definitely is a bit nervous. "I'm gay, and Ms. Pillsbury said that out of everyone in this town you'd probably be the most understanding and nicest because of your dads." Kurt says this a little fast but he isn't nervous. It isn't his first time coming out and she's basically a default "that's great" because of her dads, so whatever.

Rachel smiles at this and Kurt lets out a deep breath he didn't even realize he'd been holding. "Thanks for telling me," she says because he imagines that's what she's been told her dad would have liked to hear. And okay, this is still not going exactly how he pictured it. He just wanted to make a _*friend*_ and now she's looking at him with a mixture of understanding and maybe a hint of pity and he doesn't do pity, not at all, period.

"I want to be your friend." Kurt says, deciding just keep being honest. "I don't know anybody here and you seem to have a lot of the same interests as me, because honestly? I love Broadway and musicals and I hardly ever get to just talk about them with anyone, and you probably don't have a problem with my sexuality and okay, yes, you might be a bit overwhelming but I like that because it reminds me of my friends from Santa Cruz. So, yes. I hope we can be friends."

Rachel blinks at this entire speech, looks at him and nods a little. "Okay. We can be friends. I've been dying to talk to someone about The Book of Mormon and the music and maybe even Bare because I just saw that a few weeks ago-"

"Bare!" Kurt practically squeals. "I love that! I saw it in San Francisco with friends and just, the entire story-"

"Peter!" Rachel smiles.

"Oh, the Peter in the touring production was basically glorious! I would have loved to get a few minutes alone with him," Kurt laughs as he says this because he didn't even realize how much he missed mentioning hot guys. It'd only been like a week since he moved.

"Lucky! I only saw a community production," Rachel says and Kurt looks at her a little strangely.

"They did a community production of Bare: A Pop Opera here in Lima? Maybe I judged this town too harshly."

Rachel shakes her head: "No, no. In Columbus. My dads took me."

"Of course, Columbus." Kurt shakes his head. "How far away is it, anyway? A few hours?"

Rachel pauses for a second before shrugging: "Maybe an hour-and-a-half? Not horrible, especially because we listened to Wicked! the entire time."

"Wicked!" Kurt claps his hands. "That is my all-time favorite musical. I love everything about it-I mean, Glinda! Elphaba!"

"I want to sing Defying Gravity for Glee but I'm waiting until Mr. Shue does a Broadway week." Rachel admits.

"I love that song, it's my favorite." Kurt says this a little shyly. "I sang it for the school talent show last year, actually."

Rachel pauses. "But-it's a girl's song." Kurt looks at her and his face falls because maybe this entire day has been too easy. Maybe Rachel isn't as accepting as her dads would imply she is.

Rachel frowns at him, and okay, maybe he was scowling a bit. "I don't mean it like that, silly. Just-can you hit the high F? What's your entire range?"

Kurt begins to smile because of course he should have known his new friend wouldn't mean it like that. Right? Kurt settles in to talk with his new friend, even as his stomach twists a little. Everything is going to be fine.

##

The rest of the weekend passes quickly and before Kurt knows it, it's Sunday afternoon and he's debating driving to Columbus because the GLBT youth group is having a dinner at some restaurant and then going to the movies and he really *wants* to go but it's Sunday and he has class tomorrow morning far too early and Columbus is kind of 2 hours away, almost, so he doesn't think he'd get back until at least midnight or 1.

"Hey Dad," Kurt says as he climbs the stairs to the living room. "Can I skip the first couple periods of class tomorrow if I'm tired?"

Burt looks at him and gestures to explain because normally his dad doesn't let him ditch school at all, but Kurt doesn't normally ask, either. He'd ditched a couple times with J but that'd been without permission and he'd been grounded (even though it was totally worth it to go see the new Harry Potter in the morning before it was crowded with teenagers and kids in the evening).

"There's a meeting in Columbus tonight, dinner and a movie." Kurt explains. "And I think it'd end up getting out late, but I really want to go. So-"

"Is that Rachel girl going with you?" Burt asks.

Kurt blinks at his dad. "Um-I hadn't planned on asking her."

"I'm not sure I like the idea of you driving home late at night alone, kiddo." Burt sighs. "Have you even told Rachel you're gay?"

Kurt nods. "Yeah, yesterday morning when we were hanging out."

"And she took it alright, kiddo?"

"Yeah, she was totally fine with it." Kurt agrees, even if his stomach is twisting a bit because she had said everything right but her reaction to his singing Defying Gravity still was sticking with him.

"How about I make you a deal," Burt offers. "You can go and skip a couple periods tomorrow, if Rachel goes with you AND you text me when you get there and when you're about to leave." Burt nods at this and Kurt smiles because it wasn't completely unfair, it makes sense and he can understand why his dad doesn't want him to drive all that way alone.

"Deal." Kurt smiles at his dad. "I'll go call her now."

"Hey Kiddo-" Burt says and Kurt looks back at him. "I'm glad you made a friend already." And Kurt nods at him because he's happy, too, even if he does still miss everyone in Santa Cruz.

"Me too, dad."


	8. Blaine Interlude

When Blaine's 14, he's pretty sure his dad is almost a figment of his imagination. He comes home long after dinner is over and barricades himself up in his office to stare at the computer screen for at least couple hours. Blaine's normally in bed when he hears his father stumble down the dark hallway to his bedroom, and he's gone long before Blaine wakes in the morning. It's nothing new, though. His father's been doing this since Blaine was 11, so he's had 2 years to adjust. It still hurts when his father can't make it home for Blaine's birthday dinner or to see him off to a school dance. Even though he pretends it doesn't.

Blaine's mom, though, she rises to the occasion magnificently. She goes shopping with him and lets him chatter away over Vogue to his hearts content; they go to museums and art galleries and she's tried dragging him to the spa with her a couple times but the timing never seems to work out. She's his confidant and his protector and his knight in shining armor. If she seems a little hollow around his dad, well, Blaine's really good at pretending not to notice.

She's the first person he comes out to and, it isn't easy, but she smoothes his hair and says that she loves him still, and calls him silly. Later though, in whispered breath, she says that maybe he shouldn't tell his father right away. That he should hold it close and wait until things are better. She doesn't say it but Blaine hears what she means, knows she's asking him to keep it hidden until he's gone, until he's in college and away.

Blaine isn't dumb; he knows his father and her have been having problems. It's is half the reason he works so much (the other half is mumbles of a bad economy and horrible days and weeks and months with the stock market; his father is normally red faced and slightly intoxicated when these words are said, though, and Blaine is never meant to hear them). But Blaine doesn't know when things are going to be better, doesn't know if things are going to, and he wants his fathers approval. He isn't sure he can keep something this big secret for another four years.

He waits six months before coming out to his school, coming out to his friends. Only, he doesn't really have a lot of friends, and after he comes out it's more like he doesn't really have any. They disappear in a haze of bullies and strangers and he's not sure he's ever felt more alone.

Blaine's 15 now, and he's this skinny, short kid with curly hair and he's gay and out. He gets hassled at school; mostly notes and name calling, walking alone in the hallways and knowing people are staring at him. Then he comes home and talks with his mom and feels better, if only for a little while. They look at art and movies and it's almost like before except now he can say things like: "Christopher Pine is really cute," and his mom will laugh and hug him close. But then it gets later and his dad comes home and his mom fades away into this person, this stepford wife, and Blaine's hiding in the closet. Every day the cycle repeats and its wears on him. He feels stretched thin, a million emotions all at once and he's really not sure what to say when, or what to feel, and it's confusing.

Instead of doing homework at night, he sits at his computer with his headphones plugged in and watches It Gets Better videos and logs onto message boards, looking for someone to talk to. He's called The Trevor Project a few times but he isn't sure what to say, isn't sure how to act, so he doesn't call back. Instead he trolls the net and reads blogs and watches vlogs and tries to feel like he isn't alone.

It's his mom who suggests maybe meeting other kids like him. She doesn't force him to; just mentions in passing that it'd be nice if he had friends that he could talk to. He Google's it later that evening: _Ohio Gay Teen Support_ and is pleasantly surprised that Columbus has a group. It's an hour away, which isn't horrible, and they meet at least once a week. He stares at the website for a long time and looks at the calendar of events and wants, more then anything, to go disco bowling that Friday night with the group.

But he doesn't. Instead he stays home and does his homework. He doesn't want his grades to drop even if he can't really concentrate at school. And his mom checks in on him a few times, checks to see what he wants for dinner and if he wants to watch a movie and hey, what about a trip to the mall tomorrow and eventually he just shuts his door and turns off his lights and lays down on the bed and cries. He cries into his pillow, though, because he doesn't want his mom to hear; doesn't want his father to hear (later, when he's actually at home) and eventually he falls asleep.

Two weeks later Blaine's done staring at the website. Instead he walks downstairs and says bye to his mom, hugs her, and climbs into his car and drives to Columbus without telling anyone where he's going. He parks outside of a Denny's and stares inside for a while before he gets up and walks in the door. He doesn't know quite what he's looking for, so he stands in the entryway and looks around.

"Hey, here for the GLBT meeting?" a girl asks him, tapping him on the shoulder and he's startled for a second because, really, he isn't even sure where she came from but then he nods. "Great-we're in the back room, actually." She smiles and turns towards a hallway he hadn't even seen.

"Thanks," he offers and she shrugs. The two are quiet for the rest of the short walk and then Blaine's standing in a small conference room and he's smiling because there's at least eight or nine teens sitting around, just laughing and chatting with one another.

"Hey, we have fresh meat!" the girl he was following calls out and Blaine smiles tentatively at the group, waves slightly.

"Fuck yeah, finally another guy." Someone says and Blaine grins at that because it's always nice to feel wanted.

"Come on over," another guy calls out, gesturing to the chair directly to his left, so Blaine walks over and sits down. He feels a little uncomfortable, not sure what to say.

"Hey, I'm Drew." The guy says and Blaine nods at this. "So, you gay or bi or what?"

And okay, um, that's much more straightforward then Blaine thought it'd be but hey, that's why he's here, right? "Gay." He smiles. "You?"

Drew laughs. "Gay as a Village Person, dude. Glad to have you here, though. The lesbian's are seriously out numbering us at least three to one and dude, we really need some more testosterone, you know?"

"Um," and Blaine isn't sure what to say to that. There are a bunch of girls in the room, at least six, and he supposes that would get a bit weird after awhile.

"So, Victor-" Drew points out a young Hispanic man, "he says he's bi, but I'm pretty sure that's just a phase because he never looks at Becca and Charlene when they're making out and what kind of guy likes girls but doesn't get turned on by lesbians, you know?"

"Um," Blaine blinks because he isn't sure what to say to that. "Maybe he doesn't want to exploit his friends?" And apparently Drew takes that as a joke because he starts laughing, a full belly laugh, and smiling.

"Hey, what's your name, new guy?" a girl asks. Blaine thinks she might be Charlene because Drew had gestured in her direction but he isn't sure.

"Oh, um, Blaine." He says and the girl smiles.

"I'm Charlene, and that's my girlfriend Becca." She points to a shorter girl who's almost hiding in the corner, covered by a mop of intensely curly blond hair and Blaine smiles because he can totally understand and sympathize with hair like that.

Drew's still laughing a little, and has turned to talk to another girl that's sitting on his other side, so Blaine stands and walks to Becca. "I feel you," he says, sitting down. "I can barely control my hair without a gallon of gel and even then it isn't pretty."

The girl laughs. "It's really all about my diffusers," she says, and yeah, Blaine can see that. He likes to hide his curls though, not enhance them, so. "But yeah, it can be a pain."

"Yeah. I already get enough trouble for being short and gay, so." Blaine shrugs as if to say 'eh' and she nods.

"Totally. So, first meeting, huh?" She sits back in her chair, almost getting comfortable, and then Blaine finds himself talking and before he knows it Charlene is sitting down next to him and the three are talking and talking and its-its-nice. He's forgotten what it feels like to talk to friends, to have conversations with people who aren't his mom. They order dinner and laugh and tell jokes. He finds out that Charlene and Becca have been dating for at least four months and they met through the group, at a Laser Tag night, and they have inside jokes and this level of comfort he admires.

He's late getting home that evening, he ate at Denny's so he doesn't even bother trying to get home for dinner (he'd texted his mom about eating with friends and she'd been polite enough not to say 'which ones'). He's feeling happy, almost high because the entire night had gone so well (at least as long as he wasn't talking to Drew because yeah, he's pretty sure he'll never get along with him) and he isn't even thinking about his father but as Blaine walks in the front door his dad is standing there, almost waiting for him.

"Where've you been?" his dad asks, voice gruff.

Blaine swallows because, well-the entire night has gone so wonderfully and he doesn't want it to end, doesn't want to lie to his dad about it and say he was just out with friends. "At a GLBT youth support meeting in Columbus." Blaine finally says, voice quivering a little.

His dad blinks. "Good for you, supporting a friend," and then his dad is turning and heading up the stairs.

"No dad." Blaine's voice is stronger now. "I was there for me." And for a second he thinks his dad hasn't heard, didn't hear, and Blaine's almost happy because this probably isn't how he should have told him. He should have had pamphlets and warned him, sat him down for a 'serious discussion' so his dad would know *something* was coming, but again, that would have meant actually seeing his dad and talking to him, which is something Blaine hasn't had a chance to do really in over a year.

His dad turns around and looks at him. Stares through him. Blaine stares back.

Finally his dad just shakes his head and turns back towards the hallway. He doesn't say anything and Blaine's grateful for that, doesn't know how he would have handled it if his dad had said something horrible but he isn't sure silence is better. Silence makes it almost too easy to pretend it hasn't been said at all.

The next morning his dad is actually at breakfast, sitting at the table with a newspaper in his hands, and Blaine settles in across from him with a bowl of Cheerios and his science textbook. The two don't say anything, at least at first. His mom is still sleeping so she's not there to fill the awkward silence. His dad eventually sets the paper down though and Blaine can feel the weight of his stare.

"I don't want you driving to Columbus every week," his dad says and Blaine sits there. Because he told his dad he'd been in Columbus and now he doesn't want him to drive there. "It's a long drive and I'm not sure I like the idea of you hanging out there without me or your mom. It's a big city."

Blaine nods, eats a bite of cheerios. Swallows it. "The support group is in Columbus. They meet in public areas, though, and its well attended."

"Not without your mother or me," his father says and it feels like a law is being laid down. Blaine doesn't respond though, just continues to eat his cereal. He can't cry in front of his dad; can't break down because that'd be giving in.

He's pretty sure his mom will understand, though; he wants her to talk to his dad and make everything okay. Make it so Blaine can see his new-people. "Did you hear me?" Blaine's dad asks a few minutes later. His voice is harder, almost like he's trying to make Blaine respond, make Blaine angry so he can yell and scream and say things he wants to say but can't because he has to be civilized.

Blaine doesn't answer, just keeps eating his cereal. His dad will have to go to work soon, and then he can go upstairs and crawl into his bed and cry for a bit because maybe he should have listened to his mom. Should have just kept quiet around his dad. His dad eventually stands up and walks out of the kitchen. Blaine pushes his cereal bowl away and stands up as well. He can wash it out later.

His dad is standing in the living room, staring out the window, and Blaine can't help himself. "I'll still be gay, even if I don't go to Columbus." He says. "I'll still be gay, even if I never talk to another gay person again."

He walks out of the room, not waiting for a response. He sees his mom on the stairs and shrugs a little, as if to say 'sorry' and 'I should have listened'. She looks at him and as he's walking past she holds out a hand. He stops and suddenly she's hugging him close.

"I love you, Blaine." She whispers in his ear. "It'll all work out."

This time, when he gets to his room and searches for _It Gets Better_ on YouTube, he doesn't plug his headphones in. He's done hiding.


	9. Two Ducks in Love Chapter 8

He doesn't make the Sunday night dinner-as much as he wants to drive to Columbus and meet new people, as much as he wants to drag Rachel along, some things have to come first. And when Tiffany calls him, sobbing, about a fight she had with Maria, a screaming horror filled with cursing and name calling and each blaming the other for a forgotten anniversary, Kurt plays the part of dutiful friend.

Its a bit unsettling because he's not used to it, not used to Maria and Tiffany fracturing because they've been holding each other up for so long, being each others strength, and he isn't sure he even recognizes Tiffany without Maria's hope flowing through her. So he sympathizes and listens and tells crappy jokes (because he knows how to make her laugh) and they watch an episode of Buffy together over Netflix, and by the end of the phone call it's almost as if he'd never left.

Of course, he calls JD immediately afterwards, because if Kurt was playing agony aunt for Tiffany, then JD was probably listening to Maria at the same time.

"Is it as bad as I think it is?" Kurt asks the second JD answers.

JD sighs and Kurt lets his heart sink a little because fuck. "It's worse, actually," JD says. "I'm not sure they'll come back from this one."

"No way." Kurt settles back in his bed, preparing for a long conversation. It's times like this that he's thankful for his phone plan, and seriously? He never thought he'd be thankful to AT&T.

"Tiffany called Maria a wannabe." JD whispers this. "Said she might as well go for dick if she could."

"No. No *fucking* way did Tiffany throw Maria's orientation at her."

"She did." J says this bluntly, harshly and it scares Kurt a little because he's never heard his best friend sound so defeated.

"Why?"

"Just-" J pauses and Kurt listens to his breathing. "I've been spending a lot of time with Maria lately," and Kurt hears what J doesn't say, hears the silent _since you left_. "And Tiffany..." he trails off.

"It's been like, two weeks," Kurt protests.

"Yeah, well. I think, maybe, Tiffany thought something was going on between us."

Kurt listens, but JD falls silent. He knows what he has to ask and he doesn't want to, really doesn't want to because either way it says something about them. But he knows he has to. "Was there?" He whispers it and pretends not to feel his heart racing as he waits for J's denial, waits for J's anger and hurt and accusations about lack of trust.

Instead, JD breaths in and out and Kurt feels his heart begin to break because fuck, if JD and Maria were getting together, if J was helping Maria _cheat_. "No." JD finally says, but his voice is soft and it still cracks, which is practically confirmation in Kurt's book. "But..."

"J," Kurt breaths out. "Did you and Maria hook up?"

"NO!" JD shouts this and the anger is real, so Kurt breathes a sigh of relief. "But-I think I like her." JD says this fast and Kurt has to take a second to think about what J's actually saying because Tiffany and Maria are just this thing, this fountain of strength, and now it's cracking and J's part of it, even if nothings happened yet, and has it really only been two weeks since he's seen J? Since he's seen Tiffany and Maria?

"Does she know?" Kurt keeps his voice even, his tone soft, because JD needs a friend right now more then he needs accusations and anger and hurt.

"Tiffany does," JD admits. "I told her because I wanted to be honest, they're my best friends and I can't help this and I don't want them to break up and I don't want to get in the way. So I told Tiffany and said I'd stop spending time with Maria if she wanted and I'd do whatever..."

Kurt sighs because of course J did, he'd go to the girlfriend of the girl he liked and basically offer up his own _soul_ instead of just taking the chance and talking to Maria. "And what did she say?"

"She said not to be an idiot, well, she said something else but I'm trying not to swear because Elise is home."

"I can imagine," Kurt says dryly. The pair talk on the phone for another thirty minutes, Kurt comforting his friend and trying to get as many details as possible before he has to go to bed and JD telling horrible jokes to try and deflect Kurt's attention. It was a familiar pattern that had developed in Santa Cruz and Kurt's comforted by the banter. Finally the pair hang up and Kurt settles back in bed.

He doesn't like thinking about Tiffany and Maria having problems, doesn't like the idea that they're just as accident prone as the rest of the world, but yeah. There's not much he can do from 2000 miles away and for the first time since they've moved, Kurt lets himself get angry. He feels it boiling in the back of his mind-anger at being forced to leave his friends, his home; anger at having to hide who he is after years of being open and honest; anger at having to drive 2 hours away just to find people he can talk to that are _like_ him.

It isn't his dad's fault, isn't anybody's fault, really, but it hurts and his pissed and it's after 11 at night and there isn't really anything he can do except punch his pillow a few times and then try to fall asleep. Sleep doesn't come easily, though. Kurt spends most of the night tossing and turning, trying to get comfortable, trying to escape the thoughts that keep swirling around in his mind.

He tries to remember Santa Cruz; he pretends that tomorrow he'll wake up and they'll be in their old town home with its ridiculous yellow paint and the skylight that he'd been so fond of. He'll go through a normal day at school, wearing something more fabulous then anything he's had on lately-maybe a designer sweatshirt and the nifty boots he'd found in _Your Lover's Closet_ when he'd been exploring San Jose with Maria and Tiffany. They'd eat lunch together outside and complain about the seagulls, and then after school he'd drag JD to the center and they'd play video games with everyone else for awhile before stumbling home in time for dinner.

It's a familiar memory and, in the end, Kurt falls asleep remembering JD's spastic dance moves during DDR.

##

"You look exhausted, Kiddo." Burt says as Kurt walks into the kitchen. Kurt sighs because, yes, he knows he looks exhausted and he probably has bags under his eyes that even his moisturizing treatment won't get rid of, and it's probably going to be a horrible day at school. He doesn't say anything though, just gestures to the coffee pot and hopes his dad will have mercy on him.

Seconds later there is a warm cup of coffee sitting on the table in front of him and Kurt sits down with a smile. His hands grab the warm cup and he holds it for a minute, just letting the warmth sink into his fingertips and travel up his arms.

"Didn't sleep well," Kurt finally says after a few mouthfuls of coffee.

"Yeah," Burt says, sitting down with his own cup of coffee warming his hands. "I heard you talking to JD for awhile last night-is everything okay in Santa Cruz?"

Kurt doesn't answer right away, instead he looks at his coffee and then at the kitchen and finally out the window, hoping that if he doesn't answer his dad will forget he even asked. No such luck.

"Kiddo?" Burt sounds worried now and Kurt sighs.

"Tiffany and Maria had a fight. J said it was pretty bad," Kurt offers and Burt nods.

"Is that what kept you up all night?"

Kurt takes a sip of his coffee and ponders the question because, yes, it had kept him up for awhile, but he pretty sure that its not what kept him up, to be honest. He remembers laying in bed and being so angry-angry at his dad and at moving and at JD for being stupid enough to talk to Tiffany; remembers punching his pillows and tossing and turning and daydreaming of Santa Cruz and _home_. But he doesn't know how to say all of that to his dad, doesn't even know if he should because he doesn't want his dad to feel bad too.

"Kiddo," Burt says, startling Kurt. "You okay?" The concern is evident in Burt's voice.

Kurt takes a deep breath and then lets it out. "Yeah, dad, I'm fine." And he's proud of himself because his voice doesn't shake as much as he thought it would and it doesn't feel like a lie, which means maybe he is okay and he just didn't realize it.

Burt doesn't say anything in reply, just sits at the table and drinks his coffee and Kurt catches his father staring at him but he doesn't say anything, just smiles and shrugs so Kurt knows his dad is going to drop it.

"I'd better get ready for school," Kurt says once his coffee cup is empty.

"You're going to have breakfast, right?" Burt asks.

"Yeah, I'll grab some cereal once I've showered."

Just like that, the two Hummel's separate and Kurt falls back into his daily routine. He showers and dresses in the outfit he'd planned the night before-designer sweatshirt and tight jeans-but at the last second he ditches the idea of wearing boots and settles into his comfortable trainers. Nothing has happened to him at school, yet, but he didn't want to tempt fate, either.

Rachel had mentioned something about slushies and Glee club, though, so Kurt grabs an extra set of clothing and tosses them in his car, just in case. It doesn't hurt to be prepared.

##

"'Sup Hummel?" Puck asks later that morning. Kurt blinks in surprise because Puck's actually _in_ class, standing against the back wall, looking tough.

Kurt walks over to the teen and shrugs. "Nothing much," he offers and Puck nods.

"Dude, I hear you." and Kurt smiles because it reminds him of J, with his surfer boy attitude.

"Looking forward to Glee later," Kurt says. "I finally figured out my audition song, so..." He trails off. He's pretty sure Puck doesn't want to hear about it.

"Cool-whatcha doing?" Puck asks. Kurt blinks because Puck actually sounds kind of _interested_ and that doesn't fit with his whole 'bad boy' persona.

"Um, California by Phantom Planet." Kurt finally says. "I know it's totally cliche but it's home, you know?"

Puck doesn't say anything, just looks at Kurt and nods. "Marissa was hot," Puck offers a few minutes later.

Kurt has to hold his tongue because if Puck was J, Kurt would just laugh as say: "No, Ryan was hot. Marissa was just a hot mess," and J would laugh and they'd end up joking about how much Ryan and Seth were getting it on behind the scenes.

Instead, Kurt shrugs and says: "I guess, if you're into messed up girls."

Puck laughs at this and nods. "Pretty funny, dude."

"Yeah, well." Kurt looks around the classroom. "Guess today we're changing tires, huh?" and Puck nods.

"Yeah, we gotta watch the teach do a tire rotation and then try it ourselves."

Kurt holds in his laugh because, really, watching the instructor do a tire rotation is going to be equal parts glorious and hilarious, he can already tell. It's that kind of day.

##

Kurt finds himself sitting with Puck at lunch, and he has to pinch himself a couple of times because he isn't sure this entire thing is real. Puck's basically the badass guy in school, and yeah, things seem to be a bit tough for him right now. Kurt doesn't want to ask but there's a pregnant girl that glares daggers at him every few minutes and a tall, goofy looking boy that looks at Puck and the girl and just seems to radiate pain. Kurt's pretty sure there's a story there, one that Tiffany would delight in and J would just shake his head about and mutter 'no glove, no love' a thousand times in the direction of his dick.

The last image has him chuckling a bit and Puck looks at him, intrigued. "What's so funny?" He asks in between shoveling bites of something that could be, on a favorable day, maybe described as meatloaf, into his mouth.

Kurt smiles. "Just thinking about my friends back home. J wouldn't touch this stuff if you paid him to."

"J's your boy?" Puck asks.

Kurt blinks in confusion because it sounds like Puck's asking if J's his boyfriend and he didn't expect that much forward thinking from a jock with a (possibly, maybe) pregnant girlfriend. "No," Kurt shakes his head. "JD's very straight."

And the second those words leave his mouth he wants to take them back, hide them away, because Puck's eyes are widening a little and he's looking Kurt over, head to toe, and shaking his head. "Not what I meant, but whatever." Puck finally says and Kurt sighs because now it's going to be awkward between them.

They're silent for a second, eating their respective lunches and not talking about the elephant that's sitting in the middle of the table. "He's my best friend," Kurt finally says.

"Your boy," Puck nods. And Kurt blinks because _oh_ , he totally understands what Puck meant now.

"Yeah, my boy." Kurt smiles.

"But not your boyfriend," Puck says this and Kurt pauses because there's a couple ways he can play this, he's pretty sure, but at the same time he'd promised himself that he wouldn't actually lie about it. He can feel his face flushing and he knows that if he were to look in a mirror, he'd probably be bright red and that by itself might be confirmation for Puck.

He decides to just own it. He's Kurt Hummel, and nobody pushes Hummel's around. "Yeah, my dad would kill me if I brought a straight guy home. Plus, he wanted me to wait 'til is was older. " And okay, it sounds childish but its a confirmation without actually saying anything and he figures that's the best he can do.

Puck whistles. He doesn't get up, or run away from the table, just smirks and whistles a bit and Kurt smiles because he doesn't think Puck's going to be a jerk about it. "Dude, whatever gets you off. Just know-I'm all about the pussy."

Kurt smiles. "You couldn't pay me to touch you like that."

"Why not?" Puck sounds a little outraged at this. "Dude, I've got the puckasurus! I'm like, legendary."

"Because you refer to your dick as a dinosaur." Kurt says.

"Fuck you, you haven't seen how big it is!"

"And I'm not going to, either. No matter how much you ask me to." Kurt winks at Puck.

Puck doesn't say anything, just recoils a bit before laughing. Loud and hard, long, shaking his entire body. When he finally stop laughing he looks at Kurt, up and down, and shakes his head. "Sucks to wait." He says, a peace offering and Kurt takes it gladly.

"It's not like I haven't messed around or whatever. Just, I need to wait a bit longer before I get serious about a guy. Safer that way." Kurt explains.

Puck seems to be thinking about this, in between bites of his meatloaf. Kurt's own sandwich is long since gone, so he contents himself with waiting this silence out by eating a few baby carrots and wishing he'd packed some guacamole or salsa to spice them up. _Next time_ , he promises himself.

It's only a few minutes later, when the lunch bell rings and Kurt and Puck are heading off in opposite directions, when Kurt realizes it. _Next time_. He's already planning on hanging out with Puck again, during lunch.

##

Glee rolls around and Kurt's anxious because, yes, okay, it's not his first Glee meeting-Kurt had that dubious honor last week, and the less said about that, the better-but he's performing today. And yeah, he's not a stranger to the idea of performing in front of others (even if it was just DDR in front of a teen center full of kids) but he's still nervous. His stomach is twisting a little.

Kurt stands in front of the class and nods at the piano player. Music starts and Kurt's reminded of JD and Maria and Tiffany, singing about his home, the one place he felt comfortable. He thinks it shows in his performance because by the time he's singing _California here we come, right back where we started from,_ he almost feels like he's projecting his every thought, projecting how much he wants to be back in Santa Cruz, how much he wants to be back where he started at. The song finishes and he looks at the Glee club with a little bit of trepidation.

"So, um," Kurt says, a little unsure of what to do. Luckily the other kids start clapping and Rachel's standing up, smiling and walking over to him, saying _good job_ and Kurt's pretty sure she even means it. It's a heady feeling and Kurt thinks he can get used to it, putting everything out there and singing.

He hugs Rachel and smiles at Puck and then sits down with the other students. The rest of the class passes quickly. Mr. Shue gives out his weekly assignment (Rachel has already told Kurt all about them) and Kurt's intrigued because really, he likes Madonna but he's never fully invested himself in her music. It'll be a good challenge and he'll have fun with it. Then the meeting is over and Kurt's heading home.

##

He calls Maria almost as soon as he walks through the door, phone pressed to his ear as he grabs a plum from the fruit dish. He bites into it as he walks into his room and juice drips down his chin. The phone's ringing and for half-a-second he forgets that he's in Lima and Maria's in Santa Cruz. It's just another afternoon after a long day at school, another chance to catch up on gossip and squee over everything. He has Supernatural tivo'd in the living room, and he plans to catch up with Sam and Dean as soon as the call is over.

It's normal.

Maria doesn't answer and Kurt shrugs to himself, leaves a message, and then takes another bite of the plum. He isn't at all interested in doing his homework and as much as J is his boy, he's kind of not in the mood to talk to him and deal with the drama of J and Tiffany and Maria.

Instead, he walks into the living room and settles back in the couch, still eating his plum, and turns on Supernatural. He's in the middle of watching Castiel sending Dean and Sam to another universe when his phone buzzes with an incoming text message.

 _We shld do song 4 glee 2gether_ _– P_

Kurt's grinning as he texts back _yeah_ because maybe Lima isn't going to be as bad as he thought. At least for a little while.


	10. Chapter 9

Kurt's staring at the road, hands at ten and two, while Puck fiddles with the radio. It skips from rap to R&B to pop and country all within a span of ten seconds and Kurt wants to scream _just pick a song already_ but Puck's here as a favor to Kurt so screaming probably isn't the best way to go.

So he settles for mildly threatening instead: "pick a radio station or so help me-I will put show tunes on," He hisses through clenched teeth. "And not fun show tunes like Avenue Q."

Puck looks at him and laughs. "Whatever you say, dude." And Kurt can tell he's just humoring him but that doesn't matter because Puck's finally settled on a station and as much as Kurt doesn't necessarily like alternative rock, he can get behind it because it means he'll get to hear the song from beginning to end.

In the past month since Kurt and Puck teamed up to sing Madonna, things have been going well for the pair. Kurt's come to appreciated Puck's - badassedness, he supposes - especially when it comes to auto shop and the damn teacher who thinks Kurt isn't capable of doing anything to a car because of how _delicate_ Kurt looks. Puck'd just laughed at the idiot and pulled Kurt over to work on his car with him. Ever since Puck had made sure not to miss a class and Kurt had brought extra lunch as a type of thank you.

He isn't sure they're best friends, not like him and J, but Puck is definitely someone Kurt appreciates having in his corner. Between Puck and Rachel, Kurt almost feels comfortable in Lima. Not as happy as he'd been in Santa Cruz but there's a level of ease in his day-to-day life that Kurt never thought he'd have in the conservative town. He cracks jokes and Puck laughs, even if they're about hot guys. They fix their cars together and see action movies (which Kurt mostly hates but learned to tolerate for J) and Puck hasn't quite opened up yet about Quinn and the baby, but at least Kurt knows for sure that the baby's his. Rachel had been the one to fill him in on that whole situation.

So when the GLBT group in Columbus announced a Laser Tag Extravaganza, of all things, and Kurt casually mentioned it in front of Puck, well-Puck had invited himself along. He'd basically said laser tag was badass and there was no way he'd let Kurt take on a bunch of people without someone watching his back.

Kurt had retaliated by asking Puck how often he checked Kurt's back out, and asking if he had something that maybe he wanted to say. Puck had laughed and winked, flirted a little before settling down and looking at Kurt kind of serious. He'd explained that he didn't want Kurt going to Columbus alone, to meet people that he only knew about because of the Internet. It was kind of sweet, actually, Puck's protective side. He'd make a good father, really. Kurt kind of hopes he'll get the chance, that Quinn will be nice about it. He's pretty sure that's not going to happen, though.

So now the two of them are in Kurt's car, driving to Columbus even though it's ass o'clock in the morning and Kurt would much rather be asleep in his own bed and he was sure Puck would rather be there too. In his own bed, that is, not in Kurt's. Not that Kurt wasn't tempted, occasionally, to invite Puck to join him but yeah, the mohawked teen was definitely straight and as of right now he was the only guy in Lima that Kurt really associated with. And of all the things to miss from Santa Cruz, Kurt missed having guy friends, people he could joke around with and play video games with and just-hang with. Maybe talk about guy's asses and how hot they were. Puck mostly kept silent on that subject, but he wasn't above mentioning pretty girls and asking Kurt what he thought.

So, yes, definitely no inviting Puck back to his bed. Not even as a joke. Kurt isn't sure Puck's ready for that type of messing around. And, okay, apparently Kurt's mind is going dirty places today. He glances at Puck out of the corner of his eye and finds the teen staring out his window, clearly lost in thought. The song switches on the radio and it turns into some awful electronica song.

"Puck-" Kurt whines. "Please, please-anything is better then this."

Puck laughs and Kurt smiles to himself because Puck laughing is clearly a good thing. "Yeah, well. What've you got on your ipod?" Kurt smiles. Puck's been avoiding the ipods since the car-ride started. He'd given an impassioned plea about radio gods and good songs, and Kurt had basically turned it over. But clearly the radio gods weren't all that nice because Puck's ready for music that's under his control.

"I haven't heard of half this shit." Puck mutters, taping his way through Kurt's play lists.

"Just because you haven't heard it doesn't mean its shit, Puck." Kurt says haughtily.

"Yeah, well, I'm not a musical guy," Puck shrugs.

"Bet I know at least one musical you'll like," Kurt teases.

"Yeah right."

"Pick the Avenue Q play list." Kurt instructs him. "You'll probably like The Internet is for Porn."

"Um, duh." Puck says, "Everyone knows the web's for porn."

"No, no. It's the name of a song."

Puck's eyes widen. "They sing about porn on Broadway? No way!"

Kurt laughs. "Spring Awakening has an entire song about masturbation in it."

"No fucking way."

"And a song about how one kid in the show is totally fucked."

"I thought all Broadway was like, love stories and shit."

Kurt pauses for a second. "I mean, all the stories have some type of message in them. Not necessarily love stories, but something."

"And one of them is about porn?" Puck raises an eyebrow in question.

"It's about a guy who just graduated college and has no fucking clue what he wants to do with his life." Kurt explains. "Actually, you'd like it. It's by these guys that used to work on Sesame Street so they have Muppets in the show. Kind of an X rated Sesame Street."

Puck laughs. "Bert and Ernie talking about how gay they are for each other?"

"Actually-" Kurt grins. "There's an entire song about that! Called 'If You Were Gay'"

"Hmmm."

##

"We're here," Kurt announces almost an hour later.

Puck just laughs at him. "Dude, duh. We've been driving around in circles for the past ten minutes looking for this place."

Kurt frowns. "Can't I just be excited about this?"

Puck sighs and then nods. "Dude, yeah. Lets go scope you out some gay ass or something."

"Maybe there'll be lesbians you can flirt with?" Kurt offers, half-joking. He doesn't necessarily want Puck to just objectify the lesbians, but he wants him to enjoy the afternoon. And he isn't sure this'll be something Puck would enjoy, hanging out with a bunch of queer teens and playing laser tag.

"It's only hot if they want to sleep with me after," Puck says, interrupting Kurt's train-of-thought. "Or if they get off on it. Otherwise it's kind of creepy, ya know?"

"Well, I can imagine," Kurt agrees. "Otherwise it's like eye rape or something."

"Dude, it's called Voyeurism." Puck nods towards the laser tag building. "We going in?"

Kurt takes a deep breath and nods. "Definitely. But I thought voyeurism was getting off on being watched, or ya know, watching." His mind flashes back to J and how much J had enjoyed watching Tiffany and Maria make out. Now it's kind of weird to think about because that group has almost fallen apart in the past month, Tiffany and Maria still together but J hanging out with another group of friends from the swim team, of all places.

"Yeah, well." Puck shrugs. "After you." And he holds open the door.

"Such a gentleman." Kurt jokes as they enter the laser tag building. The first thing he notices is a table off to the side that says GLBT Youth Sign In, so he walks purposefully over. He really can't wait to hang out with other kids like him again. He didn't realize how much he missed it until he was here, and just the thought of surrounding himself with like-minded teens is enough to take a huge weight off his shoulders. He hadn't even noticed it was there, really, but it feels easier to breath all of a sudden and know he can joke around without having to worry about who'll overhear him and really, he owes his dad a huge thank you for finding the group for him.

Puck is standing off to the side, not nervous but definitely not at ease. His hands are in his back pockets and he looks almost adorable, hunched in and trying to project his badass image while clearly not sure what to do or say.

"Your boyfriend?" a voice asks and Kurt looks at the table in front of him, startled.

"Oh, no. He's straight. Just here for moral support, you know?"

The girl across from him smiles. "Good friend, to come here with you."

"Yeah," Kurt agrees, because Puck is being a good friend and Kurt had known that earlier but seeing how uneasy Puck is now just highlights it. "Definitely one of the best guys I've met, you know?"

"Yeah. I'm Becca." She says, holding out a clipboard for Kurt to fill out.

"Oh, Kurt." Kurt smiles as the girl in front of him.

"Just sign in and list your phone number and email address, so we can stalk you later."

Kurt laughs a little. "Sure thing. Should I sign Puck up too?"

Becca looks at Kurt and shrugs. "Do you think he wants to be harassed by us over email and the phone?"

"What, no facebook stalking?" Kurt asks. He hands the clipboard back to Becca and smiles.

"Na, not enough people are comfortable with outing themselves on social media." Becca sounds surprisingly serious. "Last year Drew's parents found out about him on Facebook, so, we try to be extra careful."

"Ah." Kurt nods. He can't imagine a worse way for someone to come out-by accident, over the Internet. Well, he can imagine worse ways but none so-

"So, you and your friend need to go into the other room and pick out vests. We're going to get started in a few minutes."

##

"Dude, you kicked ass at that!" Puck clasps Kurt on the shoulder and gives him a half-hug.

"Because you stood in front of me and wouldn't let anyone get close enough for a hit." Kurt shoves his friend lightly.

"Yeah, well. 'Told you I'd watch your back." Puck sounds a little put off by it.

"No, seriously. Together the two of us RULED at Laser tag." Kurt is grinning ear-to-ear. "Plus, that one guy-Drew? Totally was checking you out the entire time. Easy to score hits off of him like that."

Puck smiles. "What can I say? My guns are pretty badass." He makes a show of looking at his arms and smiling.

"Kurt!" Becca shouts from the other side of the laser tag arena. "We're grabbing pizza, come on!"

"Now she's hot." Puck nodded at the girl who had just flagged them down.

"She's taken. She was totally making out with some girl in that home fortress thing." Kurt rolled his eyes. "You would have seen her but I'm pretty sure you'd just done that Rambo thing and knocked like four guys out at once."

"There were girls making out and you didn't tell me?" Puck looks at him with a sad face. "What happened to the bro-code?"

Kurt sighs, exasperatedly. "I don't even know what the bro-code is, Puck. But if it involves looking around for lesbians who are making out? I'm not really interested in that type of thing, so," Kurt teases.

"You don't know what the bro-code is?" Puck looks at him, disbelievingly. "It's like, central to how guys act around each other. Are you sure you have a dick?"

Kurt chokes at this. Puck's said it loud enough for the entire GLBT group to hear and a few people are laughing outright but even more (mostly guys) are looking at Kurt and Puck and it's a bit unnerving.

"I can check, if you want." A voice says and Kurt looks up, shocked.

"Victor." Drew says-Kurt knows Drew, well, recognizes him anyway from the game earlier. "I'm sure his boyfriend would object to you-handling the goods." The group snickers.

"And besides," Kurt interjects. "I at least need someone to buy me dinner and coffee before they get in my pants."

"I've bought you loads of meals." Puck says and Kurt rolls his eyes.

"Do you really want to feel me up, Puck? I assure you that I do have a dick and it isn't magically going to become something you're more familiar with."

"Um," Puck looks at him and shrugs. "As long as you don't tell Santana about it, or Brittany."

Kurt laughs. The whole conversation is just edging past something he's comfortable with and Puck doesn't look uncomfortable, per say, but Kurt's pretty sure that they've dialed this whole conversation up at least a few steps past 'joking around' and are edging into flirting, so.

"Relax, Puck. You're totally not my type. I prefer my men to be gay and into dick, so." Kurt shrugs as if to say 'what can you do' to the group.

There's a few seconds of silence before most of the group starts laughing and Kurt feels instantly more at ease. Puck is looking more comfortable too, now that his sexuality is out there on the table, so to speak, and Kurt doesn't begrudge him that. It's always weird, being in a group where you don't quite fit in. He's used to it at McKinley but he's pretty sure this is Puck's first time being the minority just because he's straight, so.

"Sit, sit." Becca gestures towards the tables that are scattered throughout the room. "We have a few more people joining us for dinner." Which explains why there are more chairs then there are people. Kurt sits down at a four-top by Becca and Puck settles into the chair next to him.

The three sit there for a few minutes, relaxing and joking around while they wait for the pizza. When it finally arrives Puck dives into it almost face first, while Kurt and Becca each enjoy a few slices at a more sedate pace. The room has gradually gotten more crowded and Kurt's glancing around, looking at pretty boys and occasionally doubling back to check out a particularly nice looking guy when he spots him. In the corner, hanging out with Becca's girlfriend and a few other kids. The entire table is cracking up and there's this guy there, laughing so hard he's almost doubled over and when he looks up at spots Kurt looking at him, his eyes widen and he grins this huge smile and he looks so happy. He's hot and clearly funny and Kurt finds himself wanting to run his fingers through his gelled down hair and mess it up a little.

"Who's that?" He asks Becca, gesturing to the boy with his head. He doesn't dare look over at the table again, his heart might spontaneously combust.

Becca looks over Kurt's shoulder and smiles, widely. "Ohh, that is Blaine Anderson. He's 16, single, and totally available." She looks at Kurt and grins. "He's a funny guy, sweet."

Puck rolls his eyes at this and Kurt smiles because Becca sounds like a match making service on crack. "Hmmm," is all he allows himself to say. Blaine Anderson, Kurt thinks to himself. "Do you know what school he goes to?" and Becca nods.

Maybe he'd do some facebook stalking that night.

##

"Thanks for going with me, Puck." Kurt says as he pulls into his driveway. It's late-nearly 11pm and Kurt's tired.

"Dude, whatever." Puck shakes his head. "That Becca girl was super hot."

"And a lesbian." Kurt adds, just to see Puck's face fall a little.

"Yeah, well, it was worth it just to see you go crazy over a guy. Tiny's how you like them, huh?" Puck grins, poking Kurt in the side with his elbow.

Kurt looks at Puck and shakes his head. "Puck, seriously. I appreciate you coming with. I know it probably wasn't your first choice of places to spend your Saturday."

Puck looks at him and sighs. "We're gonna do this, huh, Hummel?"

Kurt shrugs. He doesn't quite know what Puck means, so.

"Look-I don't give a shit that you like boys, right?" Puck nods and Kurt finds himself agreeing. "And if that means we gotta go to Columbus just so you can check out boys and maybe get some, well-you're my boy. I got your back, ya know?"

And Kurt finds himself speechless because he'd known Puck and he were friends, but.

"You've been really cool about the Quinn thing, not pressing even though I know you're probably dying to ask." Puck continues. "So, yeah. You're basically my best friend." And this is said really fast, almost as if Puck doesn't want Kurt to actually understand the words.

Kurt does though and he's touched. "Puck-" He starts and Puck shakes his head, opens his car door and jumps out. "We're still on for that new X-Men movie tomorrow night, right?" He asks and Kurt nods. Puck waves and walks towards his car.

##

"Have a good night, kiddo?" Burt calls out as Kurt walks into the kitchen.

"Yeah, dad!" Kurt's happy his dad is still awake, he kind of wants to gush a little about Blaine and he knows his dad doesn't necessarily like hearing about boys, but he listens and Kurt likes that.

"Come on in, son." Burt calls from the living room. "I have someone I want you to meet." And that surprises Kurt. His dad hadn't mentioned anyone coming over and it's late, so.

Kurt walks into the living room and stops dead in his tracks when he sees a woman seated next to his father on the couch. She's pretty. Her clothes aren't that stylish but Kurt can forgive that, after all he's forgiven his dad for flannel and wife beaters, so. However, she's wearing lipstick and it's a little smeared, and her face is flushed. Kurt closes his eyes because he knows what that means, know's what he probably walked in on his dad doing, and as much as he's gotten used to the idea of his dad dating again (at least a little), he doesn't want to walk in on his dad making out with someone!

"Kurt," his dad says and Kurt opens his eyes. "I'd like you to meet Carol Hudson."


	11. Chapter 11

Kurt makes coffee silently, going through the established morning routine that he's become accustom to over the years. He adds the filter and a few scoops of Folger's best and hits the "on" button with a tiny push of his finger. It's soothing, brainless-basically exactly what he needs right now because last night he walked in on his dad with a _woman_ and they'd been making out. And its not like she's the first person his dad has dated, there were a couple people in Santa Cruz, after all-but this is the first one his dad _introduced_ him too. Which meant that maybe his dad was serious about her, or going to get serious about her, or might potentially one day be serious about her.

"Morning kiddo," Burt says, walking into the kitchen. He reaches out and ruffles Kurt's hair out of habit, and Kurt half-heartedly protests but really, it's Sunday and they have the whole day to themselves. Kurt wasn't even sure he'd bother getting out of his pajama's for a while. The idea of spending a lazy morning with his dad seemed kind of perfect.

"How was Columbus yesterday?" Burt asks, sitting down at the table and looking at Kurt. Kurt blinks because he'd honestly forgotten about it, in his shock at meeting Carol and now that his dad has reminded him...

"Amazing!" He exclaims. "Puck totally kicked ass in laser tag and there was this girl, Becca, who I think I'll be good friends with. Her girlfriend is really nice, too, well, I mean, I assume she's nice. I didn't actually meet her, just watched her kiss Becca but Becca's nice, so..." Kurt rambles for a second.

His dad nods and then sits up straighter, almost steeling himself. Then Kurt hears him ask: "so, any cute boys?" and Kurt's mind is officially blown.

His dad has always been supportive, hell, he moved them halfway across the country just so Kurt could have a normal childhood. But he's never really asked about boys, before.

"Well-" Kurt grins at his dad. "There is this one boy, Blaine. He's absolutely adorable! He's kind of short and has this gelled hair that I really wanted to wash..."

Burt chokes. "What? You want to shower with this boy already?"

Kurt flushes, embarrassed. "Dad! I didn't mean it like that! I just meant he had too much gel in his hair. I swear!"

Burt nods. "Okay then. Just-" Burt pauses, holds a hand to his heart. "Do your old man a favor and can the talking about showering with guys, okay? I mean, I know you're 16 and have probably...kissed boys before. I just don't necessarily need to hear about it, or walk in on it..."

"Like I needed to walk in on you and Carol last night?" Kurt teases. "Because her lipstick was pretty smeared, dad, and her hair was a little messed up."

Burt groans and drops his head to the table. "God save me from my teenage son. Please."

"Alright dad, I won't mention it again." Kurt smiles and turns towards the fridge. "Today at least. Now, do you want eggs or pancakes for breakfast?"

##

"You missed out on an awesome game of Laser Tag yesterday, J." Kurt says, kicking back on his bed and relaxing.

"I'm totally jealous. You played laser tag while I went out with Maria and Tiffany." J's voice is soft but happy.

"Wait-" Kurt sputters. "Back up. You went out with Maria AND Tiffany? What? Last I heard you guys weren't talking at all!"

"Yeah. Seriously, it sucked dude. So I apologized to them and offered to treat them to a movie-oh, you have to see the new X-Man movie. You'll love it! Plus, I'm pretty sure the two main guys are fucking each other."

"I'm seeing it this afternoon with Puck, actually." Kurt feels tempted to stick out his tongue and say _na na na_ but he refrains. He can be mature.

"Hmmm, Puck..." J's voice is light and questioning.

"Totally straight, unfortunately." Kurt bemoans, even though he really doesn't care. He actually likes that Puck's straight, doesn't want to even be tempted to crush on his close friend. He wants their relationship to stay the same, be something he can rely on. Still, it's fun to joke around about it with J.

"Not even a little flexible?"

"Eh, he's Puck." Kurt says, hoping that'll satisfy J. "Did I tell you that my dad's dating someone? I almost caught them making out last night."

"Define almost."

"He called me into the living room to introduce us. Her lipstick was smeared and her hair was a bit messy..."

"Dude, totally could have been a blowjob." J jokes.

Kurt's mind blanks. Literally. The idea of walking in on his dad doing...that...with someone is almost unimaginable. Especially someone he's never met before, in their living room. "Take that back, JD. RIGHT NOW."

"Did you see any lipstick on your dad's face? Because if it smeared..."

"My dad was NOT doing that in the living room!" Kurt shrieks. "He isn't doing that at all because he's my dad and that means he's only had sex once-with my mom! And that is how I came to be!"

JD laughs and Kurt huffs, annoyed. "I'll talk to you later J," and he hangs up his cell phone with a push of a button. Not nearly as satisfying as slamming a phone down but there are limitations on technology.

##

Kurt's sitting in the choir room, waiting for Glee to start, when he notices Finn (he's the tall one, right? That sings with Rachel?) almost hovering over him. He isn't quite sure what to make of it, to be honest. The entire time he's been in Glee he's basically talked to Puck and Rachel, not that the other's weren't nice individuals, well, actually Santana did seem to be kind of a bitch and Matt so silent he might as well not be there. The point was, he'd never really talked to Finn.

Sure, he'd admired him (briefly) from a distance, but that ended when he saw the teen bully the weird blogging kid and escort him to a dumpster. Ever since he'd basically decided to steer clear. It helped that he was friends with Puck, because Finn didn't even want to associate with people who associated with Puck. The two had a completely unremarkable (nonexistent) relationship.

"Can I help you?" He asks the teen dryly, figuring he might as well just bite the bullet.

"So, our parents." Is all that comes out of his mouth. Kurt blinks.

"Well, I assume you have parents, and I have my dad, so yes, we do both have parents." If his voice is a little dry and it sounds like he's mocking Finn, well, he is. He picks his friends carefully and Puck's his friend.

"They're dating." Finn sounds confused. "My mom said you met her over the weekend."

Kurt looks at Finn and finds himself nodding. "I mean, I met the woman my dad's dating this weekend, yes. I didn't know she was your mother though."

"Dude, Carole Hudson, Finn Hudson..." Finn trails off.

"It's not like I knew your last name or anything." Kurt shrugs. "So, yes. I guess that means our parents are dating."

"Well," Finn looks at Kurt and Kurt blinks, trying to figure out exactly where Finn's going with this. "Don't you want them to stop dating each other?" He draws out.

Kurt stares at him. "Um, not particularly?" He offers. "I mean, my dad seems to like her, and she's a nice woman, polite." He shrugs, not really understanding where Finn's going with this.

"Well, if they get married, we'll be brothers." Finn explains and Kurt blinks again.

"Finn, we've lived here for like, a month. I doubt they're going to be running off to the alter next week. I'm not even sure how serious they are."

"Oh, they're serious." Finn looks at Kurt and shakes his head. "I walked in on them kissing the other day."

"And my dad has walked in on me kissing...people," Kurt lies through his teeth. "It's not that big a deal."

Finn sits down and looks at Kurt. "He's walked in on your kissing boys?" He asks, in a whisper. Kurt chokes because he's outed himself to only a few people since moving to Lima and Finn Hudson is definitely not on that list.

"How'd you know?" He finally asks, not even bothering to go for a denial. Maybe he can find out how Finn knows and run damage control, make sure nobody else finds out and then find something to blackmail the other teen with because otherwise Finn would probably run his mouth.

Finn shrugs. "Dude, your dad told my mom and well, she told me. Wanted to make sure I was okay with it."

"And why do you need to be okay with my sexual orientation?" Kurt asks, voice hard. If Finn knew him, he'd know that this was just the precursor to anger, the building of pressure before Kurt began to scream and yell.

Finn answers, obviously unaware of how close Kurt is to the breaking point: "because if we're ever hanging around the house or something, ya know?" And Kurt hears what Finn doesn't say, hears the _so I don't change in front of you_ and the _you might try to touch me_ and it hurts. Not so much because it's Finn, but more because he hasn't had to face that shit in a long time. The unconscious homophobia that's almost worse then being called fag and queer because at least those he can yell back at.

"And you've told..." Kurt asks, hoping Finn will say no one and Kurt can go back to waiting for Glee to start. He'll be able to talk to his dad and his dad and Carole can probably impress upon Finn the importance of not saying anything to anyone.

"Oh," Finn ducks his head. "Just Mike and the guys from the team, you know?" Finn nods. "Wanted them to know because you have gym with them, so..."

Kurt blanks. He hadn't actually been expecting Finn to have told anyone, especially not the FOOTBALL team. "Because, what? I might look at them while they're changing?" Kurt finally snaps. "Because they need to be protected in case I eye rape them?"

Finn nods a little but then stops. He stands up and holds out his hands in a 'calm down' gesture. "Dude, they had a right to know." He says and that's it, Kurt's done with this shit.

"Finn Hudson, they did not have a right to know! You didn't have a right to know, and you certainly didn't have the right to tell anybody! Especially not for such a stupid, homophobic reason! You really think I'd do that to you?" He's shouting and the other Glee clubbers are looking at the pair of them and then Puck's there, putting his hand on Kurt's shoulder and saying _calm down, calm down_ in his ear.

Kurt spins to face his friend. "You're telling me to calm down when this homophobic cretin OUTED ME to the football team because I might eye rape them while they're changing for GYM with me!" He shouts. "He's scared that I might get hard looking at him, or one of the other guys!"

Puck doesn't say anything, just presses down on his shoulder and suddenly Rachel's there on his other side. "Kurt, calm down." She says in her annoying, authoritarian voice. "Yes, Finn screwed up and did something monumentally stupid and idiotic-" she shoots Finn a glance that could probably kill.

"We should go." Puck interjects. "Come on, Hummel. Grab your bag."

Rachel reaches over and grabs it for him. Finn stands there, looking at the three of them. "I didn't do anything wrong, Rachel." He says, finally. "I mean, Kurt's in there with us every day, changing, and he's..." Finn hesitates.

"He's gay, Finn?" Rachel shakes her head. "Do you think that my daddies looked at you like that, when you used to come over?"

And that makes Finn pause. "What do you mean, used to? I thought we were hanging out after Glee?"

"Idiot." Rachel says, before turning and guiding Kurt and Puck out of the choir room. Kurt's shaking at this point, disbelief and anger and denial all coursing through his veins.

They've almost reached the front of the school when Kurt suddenly feels cold and wet. He isn't sure what happened, just knows his hair is sopping and his skin feels clammy and, he sticks out his tongue, tastes surprisingly like blue raspberry. "Fag," he hears a second later and it all becomes clear.

He's been fucking _slushied_ because Finn Hudson outed him. Fucking Finn Hudson. All he wants is to go back to Santa Cruz, to climb into J's bed and cry and cry, yell and scream and shout and then have Maria and Tiffany show up with ice cream and horror movies so that he can get scared and cling to J and Tiffany without feeling like a hormonal boy. Instead, he turns back towards the front of the school and nods at Puck and Rachel, both still standing by him with horrified looks on their faces.

"Come on," Kurt says, voice shaking. "Let's get out of this hellhole."


	12. Chapter 11

Kurt goes home to shower and change, telling Puck and Rachel he'll meet them later after he's had a chance to get clean and less sticky. That's the worst part of being slushied, he's discovered, the tackiness of his skin coupled with the sickly sweet smell that seems to have invaded his pores. He desperately wants to schedule a spa treatment and send the bill to Carole but at the same time he's not that petty. He's furious and he will be having words with his father and Carole, but she isn't responsible for Finn's ignorance.

Kurt snorts to himself because, actually? She's probably directly responsible for his ignorance. She's his _mother_ ; she's supposed to have educated him, turned him into a decent human being, someone who has _empathy_ for people and doesn't blurt out secrets they shouldn't have known in the first place. Of course, Carole told him which meant she didn't keep secrets, either. Kurt takes a deep breath, makes himself count to ten and then releases it. Getting frustrated with Carole's parenting isn't going to change the situation; getting pissed at her inability to keep her mouth shut is just going to raise his blood pressure and that would definitely not be good for his complexion.

Kurt jumps in the shower and scrubs his skin, trying to get rid of the fake raspberry smell. He doesn't want to be reminded of the horrible situation; doesn't want to have to actually think about it, think about how everybody knows and it's Ohio and they're cruel and mean. He desperately wants J; wants to crawl into his arms and just cry and let go. He wants to forget about being strong and taking care of himself and just let J take care of him instead. He'd hug Kurt close and let him cry for as long as he needed to and then, when Kurt was exhausted, dead to the world, he'd start whispering plots. If J were there, they'd hatch plans for glorious, epic revenge-icy-hot in his boxers; jammed lockers; mysterious problems with his car.

Eventually the water cools down and Kurt steps out of the shower. He throws his comfortable robe on and steps into his bedroom, running his fingers through his hair and shaking excess water out. His dad is sitting on his bed and of course, Kurt should have expected that.

"Who called you?" He asks, trying not to sound bitter. Out of everyone in the entire world his dad is the one who is always in his corner and Kurt knows this, knows how much his dad loves him.

"Puck called, said that I should maybe take an early day." Burt looks at him and Kurt feels his back stiffen.

"He didn't tell you?" Kurt asks, even though he doesn't need to. Puck wouldn't tell, he probably just wanted to make sure that Kurt wasn't home alone.

"He said you experienced the grand tradition of a Lima Slushy." Burt shakes his head. "Do I want to know what happened?"

Kurt takes a breath and looks at his dad. He knows he needs to tell him, explain what happened, but part of him doesn't want to. "Can I get dressed first? I promise I'll explain, just-" Kurt gestured to his robe. "I'd like to do it clothed, if possible."

Burt stands up and walks over to him. "Son," He pulls Kurt close, hugging him. "Whatever it is-we'll figure it out, okay?" He whispers this in Kurt's ear and suddenly it's as if everything has broken loose. J isn't there for Kurt to cry to but his dad is; his dad is holding him and Kurt doesn't want to be strong anymore.

The tears start slowly but build up and before Kurt knows it, he's sobbing into his dad's shoulder, sobbing and gasping for air and everything goes a little blank as his dad keeps holding him and saying " _It'll be okay, It'll be okay"_ in a steady voice. Kurt wants desperately to believe him, wants everything to go back to yesterday when he'd been excited about seeing a cute boy, when he'd been safe and comfortable and almost _happy_ even though they weren't in Santa Cruz.

Eventually Kurt stops crying. His breath hitches and he has to force himself to take deep, even breaths. He pushes himself back from his dad's embrace and lifts his hand rub at his eyes. He doesn't even want to imagine what his face looks like, now, blotchy and red with dried tears on his cheeks.

Burt stands there, looking a little unsettled. Kurt doesn't blame him-he hasn't exactly broken down in front of his father before, preferring to seek the comfort of a friend or the anonymity of his bed at night.

"Why don't you get changed, kiddo," Burt says, reaching out and ruffling his hair. "I'll go upstairs and put the tea pot on. Earl Grey or Lemon?"

Kurt takes a deep breath and nods. "Sounds good, either one."

"Okay," Burt smiles at him and Kurt feels lighter. He's still pissed about school but everything feels easier. His world isn't collapsing, it's just dented and his dad's a mechanic, he knows all about how to get dents out of even the most messed up and tangled things. Kurt's seen him restore wrecked cars into objects of beauty. Seen him fix the unfixable and Kurt's pretty sure this situation isn't that bad.

##

The teakettle whistles as Kurt climbs the stairs to the kitchen. He's wearing his dad's sweats, liberated from the top of the washing machine, opting for comfort because he feels so off center, unsure. He's pretty sure he looks ridiculous, the pants are rolled at least four times and the sleeves are pushed up to his elbows and they fall every time he moves his arms.

"Good timing," Burt says, looking at Kurt with amusement on his face. "That's a good look for you." Kurt looks at his dad and shakes his head. Burt grins. "So, kiddo...sugar?"

"I'll make it," Kurt wants the familiarity of making a cup of tea. It'll give his hands something to do, and he really doesn't want to see his dad's face when he tells him what happened. "Just sit down and I'll make you a cup, too."

"But..." Burt looks at Kurt and nods. He sits down at the kitchen table and folds his hands over one another.

Kurt busies himself, getting the fat-free half-and-half out of the fridge and the sweet and low out of the cabinet. He is reaching for the tea bags when he finally speaks. "Finn outed me to the football team. He thought he needed to because I changed in there during gym and heaven knows, I might not be able to keep myself from eye raping them." Kurt plucks a bag of lemon burst tea out of the box and begins to make his tea. He waits a few seconds before turning around and looking at his dad.

"How'd he know?" Burt asks. He's looking at the kitchen table and Kurt wants to force his head up, wants to look his dad in the eyes because he's pretty sure this next part is going to hurt him, maybe more then Kurt.

 _Keep it impersonal, don't say Carole, don't say Carole..._ Kurt says to himself. He sits down at the kitchen table and hands his dad a cup of warm tea, placing the other mug in front of him. He wraps his fingers around the warm ceramic and says: "His mom told him."

Burt blinks at this before reaching out and settling his own hand on top of Kurt's. "Carole told him?" He asks, and Kurt knows he's trying to reconcile how the woman he's dating could be so sweet and still have something like this happen.

"That's what he said, at least." Kurt looks at his mug of tea, feels the warmth in his fingers. "The worst part is that he thinks he did the right thing." Kurt can feel a tear slipping down his cheek and he wants to wipe it away but he doesn't want to admit to crying again, not even to himself.

Burt sighs, tightens his fingers over Kurt's hand before letting go and reaching for his tea. Kurt knows his dad doesn't actually like tea, but he's willing to drink it for Kurt, offer him that piece of comfort. "I told Carole," Burt says, his voice heavy.

"I know dad, and I understand," Kurt interrupts. "I appreciate you telling her." And the weird thing is, Kurt really does. He knows its because his dad wants to date someone who isn't homophobic, someone who will like and accept him.

Burt sighs. "So, Finn told the guys on the team, and I'm imagining the entire school probably knows now." He takes a sip of his tea. "I know this isn't how you wanted it to happen," Burt says and his voice is soft, hesitant. "And Finn definitely needs to get his head screwed on straight, which I will be doing Kurt, as soon as we're done here." Burt fiddles with his mug, not looking at Kurt as he says: "Maybe there's a bright side?"

Kurt doesn't say anything for a second, just looks at his own mug of tea and tries to think of what to say. He knows his dad is upset, on his behalf, and there really isn't anything he can do about it besides be there for him. "Well-" Kurt looks at his dad and forces a smile on his face. "I do know that Puck and Rachel are incredible friends, more so then I realized."

His dad smiles at this. "See?" And Kurt can hear the effort his dad is making, see the worry etched all over his face.

"And I wasn't going to stay in the closet forever," Kurt says, mentally adding _probably_ to the end of the sentence. Because as much as Ohio is a conservative town, he really didn't feel all that comfortable hiding who he was on a daily basis, and he would have come out sooner or later, at least to Glee. And a good portion of Glee was on the football team.

"Yeah," Burt agrees. "I mean, in Santa Cruz you were out."

"There is a big difference between Lima, Ohio and Santa Cruz dad." His voice is just edging past sarcastic into bitter, and it's probably obvious he's gearing up for a fight.

Burt holds his hands up and says: "Whoa, hold up. I know there's a huge difference. I didn't mean it like that."

Kurt nods. "I know." He makes his voice fall back to an even, neutral tone. "Just-"

"I'm going to talk to Carole tonight, kiddo. And Finn." He looks at Kurt, obviously waiting to see a reaction.

"I don't know if he'll get it, dad." Kurt shrugs. "He really, really didn't get it at school."

"I know, kiddo." His father looks sad all of a sudden. "You know I love you more then anything," Burt says and Kurt nods, unsure where this was going. "But-I understand where Finn was coming from today. I'm not saying he's right, because you and I both know he wasn't, just-"

"You were a jock in high school." Kurt finishes for his father. His dad has made veiled references to this a few times and as much as Kurt doesn't want to, he's imagined what his dad was like back then more then once. He's wondered what changed him, what's made him so accepting, but they've never really talked about it.

"Yeah," Burt sighs. "And if I knew a gay kid had been changing in the locker rooms with us back then, well..."

"You would have probably said something too." Kurt sounds defeated as he says this, although he can recognize the validity of his father's statement.

"Kurt," his dad reaches out and holds onto his hand tightly, as if he's trying to pour every ounce of his regret over his past into Kurt's hand. "I would have been wrong to do that. There is _nothing_ wrong with you, and I know that you wouldn't do that, that it doesn't work like that."

The pair falls into silence, each drinking their tea and trying their best to forget the painful reminders of Burt's past. Kurt finishes his tea and puts the mug in the sink before turning and walking towards his room. Just before he hits the stairs, Kurt turns and looks at his dad. "I'm not sure I can forgive him," He says, voice hollow. "If Carole asks me to, if Finn apologizes..."

Burt looks at him and nods slightly. "Do you want pizza for dinner?" he asks and Kurt shrugs before turning and heading down the stairs towards his bedroom. He has some thinking to do.

##

It's late when the doorbell rings. Kurt's working on his history homework, reading about the emancipation proclamation, but he hears voices upstairs and he's had enough of the civil war for the evening, so he climbs the stairs warily. He's pretty sure it's Carole but he isn't positive, and he really doesn't want to think about what it would mean if Finn were there.

He doesn't mean to eavesdrop, is the thing. He's about to open the door and say "hi" when his dad raises his voice (which is surprising all by itself-his dad doesn't raise his voice often, to anyone if he can help it). And he hears his name, which peaks his curiosity.

"-Outed him to the entire school, Carole!" There's a scrapping of chairs as they're being pulled out from underneath the kitchen table. "And he didn't care! Kurt tried asking him why and Finn said that it was for their protection!"

"Finn wouldn't do that!" Carole says, but her voice isn't strong and Kurt knows she probably doesn't believe what she's saying.

"He did," his dad spits this out, voice filled with venom. The voices die down then, soft enough that Kurt can only hear brief murmurs but nothing specific and Kurt wants to go downstairs, wants to climb into bed and pull the blanket over his head, but he doesn't. He stands there and listens to the faint voices, hears the rather soothing sounds of his dad and Carole talking about something ( _him_ his mind supplies) and it's weird, not something he's used to. His mom died when he was too young to really remember moments like this, fights that dissolve into forgiveness and lessons learned.

Kurt knows his dad really likes Carole, even though they've only been dating for a short time. They're both older, have both been married before, both are widowed. They have things in common (besides their teenage sons) and Kurt desperately wants his father to be happy.

He's stopped listening to the murmur of voices, or rather, the murmur of voices have stopped speaking and he's about to head downstairs, when the door to his room opens. Kurt blinks his eyes at the influx of bright light and feels his face heating up red as it thinks about what the situation looks like. Before he even notices who's standing in front of him he blurts out: "I wasn't trying to eavesdrop! I promise! I just wanted to see who was here and maybe get another slice of pizza."

His dad laughs and smiles at him from the doorway. "I was just going to call you up. Carole's here."

Kurt nods: "I know, I heard you talking a little." It feels like an admission of guilt.

"We were loud for a bit," Burt shrugs. "So, you wanted a piece of pizza? Why don't you talk to Carole while I heat it up for you."

"Cold's fine," Kurt suggests. He doesn't really want to be alone with Carole, knowing that she told her son, knowing that her son is going to be responsible for all the misery he's sure to go through at school now.

"Eh," Burt shrugs at him. "Pizza's always better warm. She's in the living room."

Kurt knows this means he doesn't really have a choice, so he sighs and walks into the sparsely decorated room. There's an entertainment unit against the far wall with big screen television; a radio and DVR. The couch is ugly beyond belief, but it came with the condo they were renting, and the armchair is Burt's from long before their original move to Santa Cruz.

"Carole," Kurt says when he spots the older woman. He tries his best to sound polite but he's pretty sure there's at least a tinge of bitterness in his voice.

Carole spins around to face him, face blotchy and eyes shining. She's obviously been crying and hasn't had the time (or the makeup) to cover it up. Her voice quivers as she says: "Kurt...I can't apologize enough."

Kurt looks at her and nods, not trusting his voice. He's pretty sure he'd yell at her if he said anything; ask her what she taught her son and why he thought it was okay to share a secret that wasn't even his to begin with. Carole begins to walk over to him and Kurt flinches, a millisecond of fear crossing his face before he schools it back to his normal expression, but its obvious she saw it because she stops and just stands there, looking miserably at him.

"I just wanted him to protect you," she offers. "I know you're friends with Puckerman and I was worried what he'd do when he found out. He's..."

Kurt scoffs at her, not even caring when he sees her expression fall further. "Puck's known since the second day, Carole. He's the one that took me home today, called my dad to come home. He's my _friend_." It goes unspoken that Finn isn't, wasn't, probably never will be. Kurt knows he shouldn't push it but he can't help but add one more jab: "he's a better man then Finn is, he knows that just because I'm gay it doesn't mean I'd rape him, or anyone, for that matter."

Carole's face whitens even more, if that were possible. Her eyes are shiny with unshed tears and Kurt wants to let his expression down; he wants to say he forgives her because as much as bringing Puck into this sounded like an excuse, he knows something happened between Puck and Finn that he doesn't fully understand yet and it's _possible_ she might be telling some version of the truth.

"Finn thought you were going to rape him?" Her voice is shaky, filled with disbelief.

Kurt carefully considers his answer before saying: "He implied that I might look at him while he was undressing, look at the other guys in the locker room." He doesn't say anything else because Finn was probably thinking more then that, but he hadn't said it in the Glee room.

Carole takes a second to take the information in. She sighs. "I really did have your best interests at heart, Kurt. And I am sorry for what Finn did. I'll be having a very long talk with him tomorrow and he will be punished for this."

The two stand there in the living room for a little while longer, the silence between them deafening. Kurt wants to ask if she's serious, if she thinks a talk will do _any_ good to such a homophobic idiot of a person, but she's his mother and supposedly she knows best. "I'm not sure I'll be able to forgive him," Kurt says finally, breaking the silence. "I was slushied today, called a fag."

Carole flinches as he says this, unused to hearing the word. "He'll be making sure that doesn't happen again," She says. "I don't care if he has to jump in front of every slushy that comes anywhere near you."

Kurt sighs because really, that's the last thing he wants. He doesn't _like_ Finn, he doesn't want him following him around the school, making uneducated comments and hurting him. And if Carole makes Finn do that, the comments would probably be numerous and very volatile.

"No." He finally says. "I have Puck and Rachel for that. Just-" Kurt pauses to gather his thoughts. "Just tell him to keep his distance. If he wants to say something to the jocks, the people that are going to be creating a problem, fine. Just-I don't trust him."

Kurt turns and walks towards the kitchen. He doesn't want to have to deal with this more today, doesn't want to have to look at Carole in her misery because then he'll end up forgiving her and he really doesn't know if he wants to do that, at least not yet. She raised Finn, gave him his values, and if this is how Finn acts Kurt isn't sure what that says about her.

In the end, he'll forgive her because she makes his dad happy, and Kurt will do anything for his dad. But right now the pain is still too fresh, the hurt is still too real. Given time, it will die down, go away. Right now though, Kurt really just wants to forget about everything. He wants to grab a slice of pizza and go downstairs and call J and force him to watch an episode of something rather mindless with Kurt over netflix. He wants to gossip about people back home and forget that his isn't in Santa Cruz any more; he wants to pretend that everything is normal and that tomorrow he'll wake up refreshed.

"Hey dad, the pizza ready?" Kurt asks, forced smile on his face. He's pretty good at playing pretend.


	13. Chapter 12

He takes pleasure in updating his Facebook status to: "likes boys" because now that everyone knows, he wants to at least pretend it's under his control. Puck and Rachel like the comment immediately, with Puck saying: _duh knew u were hot 4 my bod_ and Rachel commenting with nothing but _lololololololololololol_ even though Kurt knows she pretty much detests text-speak. J and Maria and Tiffany comment later, and Kurt smiles when he reads their words of support. It isn't the same as being in Santa Cruz, but its as close as it can be, and he thinks it'll have to be enough.

He also updates his profile to say: _had a bad day_ while he's there because he's pretty sure his day counts as bad under all definitions. It feels a bit petty but at the same time he hasn't typed _Finn Hudson Must Die a Thousand Fiery Deaths...With KNIVES_ so he figures hey, perspective. Complaining about a bad day is just that, complaining about a bad day.

Kurt falls asleep and dreams of J and Maria and Tiffany at the boardwalk, dreams about winning tickets and trying to get enough to get a gumball machine for his room, even though he detests gum. In the dream he gets the tickets and is about to buy the machine when suddenly there's a shadow (ominous, really) and it falls over him and the tickets disappear and he's left staring at the gumball machine, wishing it could be his, even though he doesn't want it, doesn't need it, hates it. He tosses and turns and eventually wakes up enough to slit his eyes open and groan because the clock says 4:17 A.M. in big red letters and he knows he isn't going to be getting back to sleep.

He rolls over in bed and tries to will himself back to sleep, tries to close his eyes and imagine himself on the beach in Santa Cruz with the waves lapping against the shore, and the water polo player laying beside him, tanning. The water polo player keeps changing into Finn, though, and the thought is disturbing enough that he figures _fuck it_ and sits up in bed, rubbing his eyes. If Finn Hudson is invading his private memories then sleep really is the last thing he wants to do.

Instead Kurt rolls out of bed and pulls his computer out from under his bed. It's a guilty pleasure but hey, it's early enough that he can probably watch at least a couple episodes of _Queer as Folk_ before he has to get up for school, and right now he really wants, needs, a dose of Brian Kinney. It's as close to porn as he'll let himself have at home, with his hyper aware dad who always seems to pick the absolute worst moments to interrupt, and Kurt knows it isn't personal, knows he could probably sit down and talk with his dad about his need for privacy and his dad would respect it (grumble and groan and ask Kurt if there was anybody special) and that is something Kurt does not, under any circumstances, want to have happen.

It's the polar opposite of what he wants to happen, the memory of his talk with his dad still too close for comfort (just looking at his truck is enough to make Kurt's cheeks blush a little, which his dad has _definitely_ noticed but been kind enough not to mention). The laptop boots up in Kurt's lap, whirling to life and he waits rather patiently for it to fully start up.

Finally it's on and he opens his email out of habit, waits while it loads and suddenly he's blinking because there's a Facebook friend request from one Blaine Anderson and his heart skips a beat. The cute boy from laser tag is asking to be his friend and he hits accept without even thinking. CUTE BOY, CUTE BOY, his mind keeps cycling through and suddenly nothing else matters but facebook stalking him and finding out all information possible.

He's about to start clicking through photographs when his email pops up with a new notification and he clicks it anxiously. It's from Blaine, which is kind of mind blowing because it's nearly 5:00 A.M. now and Blaine is commenting on his status, on his pictures.

 _Sorry you had a bad day. Hope today is better! :)_ and it's innocuous but it's Blaine, Blaine the cute boy.

Kurt immediately comments back: _Already Is! Thanks for the well wishes_. He hopes it doesn't sound too desperate but he really, really thought Blaine was cute and this probably means Blaine thought he was cute, especially if he went through the trouble of tracking Kurt down on Facebook (which, okay, there aren't exactly a lot of Kurt Hummel's so he probably just had to do a quick search, but that meant he knew Kurt's name, which meant he'd asked somebody!)

Blaine's profile is mostly empty, especially under the _Preferences_ tab, but that doesn't really mean anything. Kurt's had been empty until earlier the previous night. Blaine does list his favorite books, however, and _The Great Gatsby_ is listed along with _Harry Potter_ and _The Hunger Games._

Kurt hasn't read _The Hunger Games_ yet, but he resolves to find it immediately, if only so he can talk to Blaine about it at the next meet up in Columbus. Maybe. It could be seen as a little desperate and he definitely doesn't want to appear needy to him, he wants to be interesting enough to score a date.

His inbox chimes, signaling a new message, and Kurt feels his stomach tighten in anticipation. Blaine's awake and MESSAGING him and just, he isn't sure life can get better. Well, he knows it can, absently thinking about Santa Cruz and J and Tiffany and Maria and the beach, but at the same time none of them were cute boys that Kurt could flirt with, make out with, date and walk hand-in-hand with, and okay, he's *really* over thinking this because at this point Blaine is just a boy he's facebook friends with, who is messaging him.

He clicks the notification and blushes a little as he reads Blaine's comment: _Thanks for making my day better, too! Why are you up so early?_

Kurt thinks for a second because he's desperate to respond but he doesn't want to appear too available, but Blaine clearly wants an answer and answering a question isn't desperate, it's being polite and Kurt is nothing if not polite (okay, well, he's nothing if not polite to cute boys. Other people, eh.)

He's careful as he types in: _Couldn't sleep. Decided to get some quality Brian Kinney time in before school_. And his send before he can even think it through, because okay, if Blaine is *any* type of gay boy he probably knows Brian Kinney and just knowing who Brian Kinney is, well...Kurt might as well have typed _Want to jerk off_ into the message box. Fuck.

Blaine's response is faster then before: _;) Good idea, maybe I'll do the same. I have a weakness for Justin/Brian. Enjoy yourself!_ Kurt can feel his *ENTIRE* face flush bright red because, um, he's pretty sure Blaine just told him to have a good jerk off session and that he'll be doing the same. Maybe. He kind of sucks at the whole flirting thing.

Kurt exits out of Facebook and is about to close down his inbox, about to try and walk away from the entire conversation because there's embarrassing and then there's talking about jerking off under a status comment-which, okay, fuck, anyone can read, when his inbox signals one more new email.

With slight trepidation Kurt looks at the screen, expecting to see something maybe even more suggestive from Blaine. It isn't and Kurt isn't sure if that's a good thing or not because instead, Puck's name is jumping out at him. He's not sure he'll be able to live this down EVER now, although he consoles himself, Puck probably doesn't know who Brian Kinney is.

He clicks the email and peers at, half hoping it's something innocent. Instead, it's Puck being Puck. He's liked the entire conversation and commented with: _Maybe keep the sexting private next time, Hummel_. _Doesn't your dad have an account?_ Kurt hurries into Facebook and deletes the ENTIRE conversation, including status update. FUCK, he's really never going to hear the end of this.


	14. Chapter 14

He's going to the dinner under protest, and his dad knows it. Kurt's pretty sure he can't imagine a worse way to spend a Saturday evening-breaking bread with Finn Hudson, the asshole that managed to single-handedly out him to the entire school under a thin veneer of gay panic coupled with moronic tendencies and general ignorance. But Carole had apologized again, begged his dad to bring Kurt, so Finn could make things right, and well, his dad really _liked_ Carole, he'd said _please._ There isn't much Kurt won't do for his father, especially when he looks at Kurt and says " _Say the word and you'll never have to see her again_ " even though Kurt knows Carole makes him happier then he's been for a long time.

So, he's going, but he isn't going to make it easy. He plans his outfit carefully, dragging out some of his more unique pieces (the corset from Rocky Horror with J and Maria; his 'Gaga' boots from Halloween the previous year) that he's never worn _seriously_ before. They don't fit together, are more of a hot mess then anything even remotely resembling _fashionable_ , but he wants to wear them. If Finn Hudson can't see beyond _Will and Grace_ , if he can't see beyond the stereotype, then Kurt wants to give it to him. Wants to be exactly what Finn Hudson thinks he is, if only to show Finn Hudson exactly what he isn't.

His dad just rolls his eyes when he sees the outfit, doesn't even try to make Kurt change. Just: "Quite the outfit you've got there. JD's text asking for photo proof suddenly makes a whole lot more sense," with a quick shake of his head. "Can you even breath in that thing?" He gestures to Kurt's corset.

"A necessary sacrifice," Kurt jokes. He feels comfortable, confident, in the outfit even if it is more flamboyant then anything he's ever worn before. He isn't sure he'd ever wear it in public, but the dinner is at the Hudson's home. "I get final photo approval, as usual." Kurt continues because for some reason his dad _loves_ taking photos of him and this is the only way Kurt will let him; they'd brokered the deal over hot chocolates at _Chocolate_ their first summer in Santa Cruz and it's worked for them ever sense.

"Was there ever any doubt?" Burt smiles and Kurt feels lighter then he's felt in a little while, since the whole Finn debacle started. He loves his dad.

##

"Hey," Finn answers the door with a smile that quickly fades into a look that Kurt might describe as horror meets uncertainty meets _be polite, be polite, be polite_ which is undoubtedly running through Finn's head. If he wasn't an asshole, Kurt might be tempted to describe the look at dopey and _slightly_ adorable, but he is so Kurt kills the thought before it even gets formed.

"Hello," Burt smiles at Finn and looks at Kurt until Kurt says hello as well.

"Thank you for having us over," Kurt tries to stuff as much disdain and contempt into his voice as possible.

Finn just blinks and then, unfortunately, opens his mouth: "You can't wear that to school," and Kurt feels his face turn red and it's embarrassing but he wore the damn corset to provoke a response, so he probably shouldn't be surprised that he actually got one.

"Kurt can wear whatever he wants to school, Finn," Carole's voice calls from what Kurt would presume to be the kitchen. "Now stop blocking the doorway and let them in."

"Do you see what he's wearing?" Finn calls out, stepping back from the doorway and walking into the kitchen.

Kurt takes a deep breath and lets it out. His dad reaches out and rubs a hand over his back, offering comfort. "You're a smart kid," he whispers into Kurt's ear. "It's like lancing a boil-we'll get it over with and then you can educate the hell out of him."

"We can educate the hell out of him," Kurt says.

"You're right. We can." Burt pushes him a little towards the open doorway and Kurt steps inside, carefully balanced on heels he's still remembering how to walk in.

##

Kurt hasn't been to to their house before, doesn't know what to expect, but he's pretty sure this isn't it. It's comfortable and small and homey. A little run down and old, but Kurt can't judge because he and his father are living in a rented condo that has definitely seen better years, and besides, the whole point of the evening isn't to prove how much of an asshole he is.

Finn hasn't said anything since they've stepped inside and looked around. His face is squished and Kurt knows he wants to say something but also knows that he's probably been told off by his mom and Burt and maybe Rachel and Puck and Kurt's pretty sure he wouldn't wish that on his worst enemy, which Finn Hudson isn't, even if he is an ignorant, homophobic bastard. He's maybe regretting his outfit a little, because it's put Finn right on the defensive, but fuck, his dad is right and it's better to just get everything out of the way, in the open so they can talk and yell and move on from it.

So. Kurt takes a deep breath: "I'd never wear this to school, Finn. I don't have a death wish." He means the last part to come out more as a joke, a bit sardonic and with a tiny grain of truth underlying it, but he's over played his hand and it comes out flat and he thinks he sounds a little terrified. At least his voice isn't shaking.

"Nobody would kill you, Kurt." Finn says this as if he's talking to an idiot, somebody slow without all the right pieces in his head, and Kurt can feel his dad draw a breath in because okay, there's a different between being ignorant and naive and apparently Finn is edging more on the second one then previously thought.

"Finn," Kurt draws a deep breath in before continuing: "People are hurt all the time for being gay. People are killed for being gay. It's called gay bashing." Kurt says this quietly, even though he wants to shout, wants to scream, because it's fucking happened to him already and for Finn to sit there and say nobody would hurt him. Kurt can feel his eyes watering up a bit but he can't cry now, he has to be strong.

"But-" Finn says and then trails off.

"Finn, don't you have something you want to say to Kurt?" Carole says a few minutes later. The silence has dragged on, past the point of uncomfortable, and Kurt's thankful that Carole said something.

Finn sits up a little straighter and looks at Kurt. "Look-"

"Save it," Kurt says, cutting him off. "I don't want an apology your mom had to tell you to give. You fucked you, you outed me and now I'm going to be bullied at school and slushied and made fun of, and there's nothing I can do about it, and your apology isn't going to change that."

"But-you were changing with us, dude," and Finn at least has the good grace to look a little ashamed of himself when he says it.

"Yes, I do. But I don't look, and for you to out me because you thought I might sneak a peak at you and get off on it is not only insulting, it's homophobic and its gay bashing, just like you said wouldn't happen." Kurt makes his words harsh because he isn't sure he can get through to Finn any other way.

Burt reaches out at this point and puts his hand over Kurt's, holds it tightly. "We moved to California because Kurt got hurt, Finn." Burt whispers this and Kurt takes a deep breath because he's always _suspected_ but there is a huge difference in suspecting versus knowing. "It was one of the scariest days of my life-the principal called and said someone hurt Kurt, called him queer, and he was in the hospital and..."

"Someone pushed me down and broke my arm," Kurt whispers this, looking down at the table. "Just like someone outed me the second they found out I was gay, because I might _look_ at them." Kurt's voice is angry and he's resisting the urge to stand up and just run away from this entire fucked up situation.

Burt's hand tightens on Kurt's and Kurt draws in a breath, slowly letting it out before drawing another one in. He's taken yoga, knows how to calm down his breathing and keep in control.

"Kurt, man-" Finn says, miserably. He projects all of his emotions on his face and right now it's a mix between agony and embarrassment and Kurt wants to put him out of his misery and just forgive him but he isn't sure he can. He's still hurt and he hasn't been back to school yet but he knows it's going to be hell. He hasn't even talked to Rachel or Puck, yet, because he doesn't want to know how badly it's going to go.

"Maybe if Finn went with you to Columbus-" Burt says quietly. "He could meet some other people, talk to people, and well-"

"No." Kurt says quickly, angrily. "Columbus is mine and I am not bringing him with me. He's already at the school I go to, he's already going to be here and I am not bringing him to the only safe place I have left."

"I think we should go," Burt says, standing up from the kitchen table. "Clearly this wasn't the best idea-"

"Dad!" Kurt shakes his head. "We can stay for dinner, it isn't a big deal."

"That's where you're wrong, kiddo." Burt reaches out and ruffles Kurt's hair, just like he always does when he says kiddo. It's comforting and annoying at the same time. "You said Columbus was your only safe place which means I'm not doing my job, because, kiddo-" Burt looks down at him and there are _tears_ in his eyes. "Our house should always be safe, always, no matter what, and if you don't feel safe there, if you don't feel safe at school-then something isn't right."

Finn is gaping at them, staring at Kurt and at Burt, mouth open in shock. "You don't feel safe? Because of me?"

"No, Finn, I don't feel safe!" Kurt shouts this. "I've been going to school with you for over a month and the only time I've been slushied is right after you outed me. People are already spreading rumors and I'm sure the second I talk to Rachel and Puck I'm going to hear everything, about what people are saying and planning on doing. I know about dumpster dives and port-o-potty rolls and I'm not looking forward to experiencing them, and guess what, I'm going to because you opened your big fat mouth and told the guys on the fucking FOOTBALL team that I might be checking them out in the bathrooms and heaven forbid the football players feel uncomfortable! Seriously! And now I'm in your house and the FIRST thing you said to me was that I couldn't wear this because it was weird and you act like you're a stupid child and you are!"

"But-"

"No, Finn," Kurt sighs. "I don't want to hear it. You're ignorant and you're naive and Carole, honestly, you seem to be a lovely woman but you raised him and obviously something went wrong because look at him! Look at how he reacts when he finds out somebody is different then what he's used to! He doesn't talk to them, or talk to you, or talk to a fucking teacher! He tells his friends that the new kid is a fag and he might be checking them out."

"Kurt! You know I don't like that word!"

"Why? I bet that's the word Finn used, isn't it Finn? You told your buddies that I'm a fag, that I'm queer and weird and probably jerking off over the idea of you in the showers. Isn't that right?" Kurt takes a deep breath to try and calm down. "Told them that they should be aware, and prepared, because heaven knows I can do something to them when I'm all of 120 lbs soaking wet, and they've got at least 6 inches and probably 50 to 100 lbs on me. But I'm the queer and that means I deserve to be slushied and bullied and called names and pushed down and spat upon and insulted because I like dick and you don't and that's fucking weird and weird is bad, right?"

"Kurt-" Finn has tears streaming down his face. "I didn't-"

"Save it," Kurt sighs. "Look, my dad likes your mom, and Carole seems to be a nice enough person..."

"No, Kurt," Carole interrupts. "I think it would be best if you and your father leave. I clearly need to talk to my son, and Burt needs to talk to you about appropriate language when you're guests in somebodies home."

"Fuck that," Burt stands up. "From where I'm standing, Kurt hasn't said one thing that isn't true. Carole, I really like you but you raised Finn, you taught him everything he knows and for him to be sitting there, talking to his friends and calling my son a fag? For my son to not feel SAFE-"

"Dad!"

"No, Kurt, I need to say this." Burt reaches out an arm and drags Kurt under his arm protectively. "For my son to say that he doesn't feel safe IN his own home because you and Finn might be there-just-"

"I didn't mean it like that," Kurt tries to interrupt. "I know you like Carole-"

"Hush, buddy. You said the only place you feel safe is Columbus and that just isn't right. I mean, I knew this move would be hard, that you'd be bullied but I didn't ever, NOT EVER, want you to feel like you weren't safe."

"I think you should leave." Carole says, firmly but politely. "We can talk next week, after we've had a chance to calm down."

And just like that, Kurt and his father walk out the front door. Kurt pauses once to take his shoes off, he still hasn't quite gotten used to walking in heels, but they leave without another word being said. Once they're safely in the truck, Burt turns and looks at him, eyes still watery.

"Kurt-son," Burt starts. "You have to tell me these things. If you don't feel safe, if you EVER don't feel safe, you have to say something. We can figure something out-JD's parents said you could stay with them, if you wanted; or maybe we should look at private school." Burt says, ramblingly.

"Dad-" Kurt interrupts. "It's not-I mean-it's not all the time, it's just-" Kurt's words are broken and haulting, his eyes are wet and he's hungry and little bit mortified that he shouted at Finn, at Carole-he's never really shouted at an adult before-and now his dad is sitting there crying and it's his DAD and his dad isn't supposed to cry, isn't supposed to break down because he's strong, stronger then Kurt and this entire evening hasn't gone at all like he planned.

Finally Kurt takes a deep breath and tries again: "I think it's been a busy night. Why don't we get a pizza, and maybe watch one of those movies you like, with the guns, and just not think about it."

"Isn't that supposed to be my line?" Burt jokes a second too late.

"Yeah, well. Who do you think I learned it from?" Kurt smiles tentatively at his dad. "We can talk tomorrow, but tonight-"

"Will you eat pepperoni and sausage?" Burt questions before starting the truck. "Because I think pepperoni and sausage sound like an excellent idea tonight."

"As long as you put some chopped onion on it. Ohh, and can we have hot wings?" If he's going to eat like this, he might as well go all out, Kurt figures. And seriously, hot wings? One of his favorite vices of choice.

"Sure, kiddo." Burt smiles at him. "Sure."


	15. Chapter 14

 

Kurt's eating his breakfast warily. His dad had been more than a little hesitant of sending him back to school unprotected-it had taken Kurt nearly forty minutes to talk his dad out of calling Puck and arranging an escort-and Kurt still thinks he might have gotten out of that conversation a little too easily. His dad isn't the type to just give in on anything, let alone Kurt's safety. It had taken a conveniently timed text from JD that simply _had_ to be answered immediately for Kurt to even get out of the conversation.

So Kurt isn't surprised when, a few minutes before he's due to head out, to hear a knock at the door. The person standing on the other side of it, however, makes him pause.

"Finn." Kurt says it calmly because he really doesn't want a fight, especially not within his dad's hearing (and Kurt can hear Burt moving around upstairs already).

"Um, hi." Finn looks a bit anxious, Kurt notes. He's running his fingers through his hair and is shifting from foot to foot. Kurt doesn't say anything, though, even as the silence grows longer. It isn't his job to make Finn feel comfortable.

"Aren't you going to let him in, buddy?" Burt calls out from the top of the stairs. Kurt debates whining out _'Do I have to?'_ before sighing to himself and stepping aside. Finn looks at Kurt a little shyly before stepping over the doorway and standing awkwardly in the place Kurt had been standing only moments earlier.

Burt walks down stairs in his pajama pants and a wrinkled wife beater-Kurt has to resist the urge to send his father back upstairs to put something more presentable on because they have a _guest_ over. It's tough but the idea of being alone with Finn makes Kurt feel even more uncomfortable, though, so he bites his tongue and instead looks at his dad for any hint as to why Finn is darkening their doorstep at such an ungodly hour. Hell, why Finn's darkening their doorstep at _all_ after what he did.

Burt clasps a hand on Kurt's shoulder before smiling brightly and saying in an _entirely_ to innocent voice: "Finn's going to drive you to school today!" Kurt gapes at his father, then looks at Finn. Then back at his father.

"WHAT?"

Finn's looking extremely uncomfortable now.

Burt's hand tightens a little on Kurt's shoulder. "Look, I told you I didn't want you going to school unprotected, and you rightfully pointed out that it shouldn't be Puck's responsibility to watch out for you when he wasn't the one that created the situation." Burt shrugs a little. "I thought, and Carole agreed, that Finn should do it instead."

Kurt takes a deep breath. This wasn't an ideal situation but he could deal with it-Finn driving him to school for one day wasn't the end of the world. They didn't have to talk, and Kurt could walk away from him as soon as he got there. It wasn't the end of the world.

Burt nods a little. "So Finn will be driving you for a little while, just until things calm down and people stop bullying you."

Finn nods at this, runs his hand across the back of his neck. "It'll be great," he mutters dejectedly. "I'll be your personal taxi service."

"And-" Burt looks at Kurt seriously: "I don't want you being a brat about this. He's the one that created the situation so he has to help clean it up, without you providing a running commentary."

"But dad-" Kurt says, preparing to whine his heart out.

Burt sighs and says "Give us a second, all right Finn?" before pushing Kurt into the kitchen. Finn just nods.

##

"Look, kiddo-I had to do something," Burt says. "You said you weren't feeling safe and, well, you need to. We can't just pack up and move back to Santa Cruz, and you didn't want your friends to become your bodyguards."

"But Finn?"

His dad sighs and rubs the back of his neck. "Kurt, just-" Burt sighs again and sits down at the kitchen table. "I was Finn, back in high school. I did things I'm not proud of, things I never want to actually tell you about because I like having your respect and frankly, Kurt, what I did would probably horrify you."

Kurt gapes at his dad because this is seriously the last thing he'd ever expected his dad to say. He'd known his dad was a football player, they joked about Kurt's absolute lack of talent enough, but he'd never really thought of it beyond that. Never thought about what the football players probably did to the other kids, and now his dad is basically saying he was a bully.

"But I changed, kiddo. I met your mom and fell in love with her, and she helped me pull my head out of my ass."

"You're not saying that you want me and Finn to..." Kurt trails off, feeling a little nauseated and light headed at the same time. "Because, dad, seriously-"

"NO!" Burt shakes his head forcefully. "You deserve someone who doesn't need to have their head pulled out of their ass, someone who already knows how wonderful you are. Just-" Burt pauses. "Finn grew up here, Kiddo. He didn't get to escape and meet J.D. and Tiffany and Maria; and Lima doesn't have a youth center like the one in Santa Cruz. He screwed up, but he didn't mean to hurt you."

Kurt takes a deep breath and lets it out slowly, because he can see where his dad's going with this and, all right, okay, he can maybe even understand what his dad's saying. It didn't mean he had to like it, but it was still true. Finn hadn't had a chance to grow up yet, hadn't had to chance to escape Lima and its toxic atmosphere.

"Kiddo," Burt looks at Kurt, stares at him, as he says: "There's a difference between being ignorant and being malicious, and Finn-I'm not sure he has a malicious bone in his body. He thought he was doing the right thing and he wasn't, he screwed up, but kiddo-people screw up all the time. Fact of life. Like you not telling me about going to Pride in San Francisco, you messed up but it turned out alright."

Kurt blushes a little because, yes, alright, he should have told his dad about San Francisco, and he should definitely be telling his dad more about Blaine and everything that (wasn't) quite happening there.

"I think Finn wants to make things right, kiddo." Burt rests his hands on the table and lets the silence fill the room. Kurt wants to protest, wants to whine and plead, but he can't help thinking that maybe his dad's right. Maybe Finn hasn't had a chance to grow up and maybe Kurt needs to cut him some slack. He'd been pretty brutal the other night at dinner, and it wasn't like his dad wanted Finn to come to Cleveland with him. And his dad was only a few minutes away if something horrible happened.

Kurt finally nods. "Fine, we'll try this out. But dad-"

"If he does anything, Kurt-" Burt makes a twisting motion with his hands. "Just because you're trying to be a bigger man here doesn't mean you have to take his shit, do you understand me?"

Kurt smiles at this because yeah, all right, he understands. "Um-" and now he flushes a little because maybe, just maybe, he was a bit out of line with Carole the other night at dinner, too. If Finn hadn't left Lima, grew up in this toxic dump of a town, and Carole hadn't left-well...he'd think about it. "You're good at this whole 'fathering' thing," Kurt says to his father, a peace offer of sorts. "Maybe we could have Finn over for dinner and he could really meet you?"

Burt's face lit up and Kurt felt deep warmth in the pit of his stomach. He likes making his father proud.

"How about I rustle up three steaks for dinner-Carole mentioned she'd be working late."

"As long as you get vegetables to put on the grill, too," Kurt lectures. "Oh, and no potatoes, I'm talking healthy vegetables, like green beans and tomatoes and onions."

"Fine." Burt sighs, but Kurt doesn't budge. He's being nice enough about the steak-potatoes on top of that were just asking for trouble. "Finn's probably wondering what's keeping you," Burt says. Kurt smiles at his dad and leaves the kitchen with a much lighter heart then before.

##

"Look, I'll meet you here after school, okay?" Finn says as soon as the car pulls into the school parking lot. "Just, wait by the car."

Kurt nods, mutely. He's kind of a little terrified of what's going to happen as soon as he walks through the doors. He's pretty sure the slushies from the previous Friday weren't all that was in store for him. It feels kind of a little revolting, actually, going to school and expecting something horrible to happen.

He wishes that JD were there to stand next to him; he'd just glare at anybody who even looked at Kurt. Tiffany would make lewd jokes to distract him and it'd work. He wants lewd jokes now, he wants to squeal about her revealing too much of her sex life and he wants JD to make inappropriate jokes about wanting to watch and none of this feels real.

But that doesn't matter right now because right now Finn is glaring at him and Kurt knows he'd be saying something a little mean if not for the strong lecture he's assuming Carole and Burt both gave him. He steels himself and opens the door.

Surprisingly, the world doesn't end. Instead he walks with heavy footsteps towards the main building. Better to face things headfirst then stand around dreading the unknown. Either way he's sure to get an ulcer, but if he at least faces the rumors and the stares head on that part will be over.

##

"Dude, you totally didn't answer your cell this weekend," Puck tisks as he throws an arm over Kurt's shoulders. "I had this totally hot date and okay, seriously? I needed to talk to you because the girl totally stuck her finger up there and it felt awesome."

Kurt blinks because for half a second it's almost like he is back in Santa Cruz, complete with Tiffany's over sharing. "PUCK!"

"But dude, okay, she had a great rack which totally means I'm not gay, right?" Puck asks with a light laugh. "Not that that isn't cool and all..."

Kurt just shakes his head. "There are just some things about your sex life I don't need to know, including if you get off on prostate play or not."

Puck laughs at this. "But who else am I going to talk to this about? If I even mentioned it to Finn he'd freak-idiot tried to tell me his mom was having her prostate removed earlier this year."

Kurt chuckles at this and he's distracted, probably Puck's intention. The morning hasn't been too horrible, nothing nearly as bad as what he'd imagined, but people have been looking at him and he's heard a few coughed "fags", but he'll take that. There haven't been any slushies, or dumpster dives, which Kurt is totally counting in the win column.

"So, does the hot girl have a name?" Kurt asks.

"Dude, she was totally one of the pool moms," Puck shrugs. "She probably doesn't want her name getting out, ya know?"

Kurt nods. He'd heard all about Puck's extracurricular activities with pool cleaning and suburban housewives and he isn't sure he wants to know more at this point.

"Sure." Kurt nods, not even listening at this point. "We have auto shop next-how bad do you think it'll be?"

Puck shrugs. "Probably not too bad, the guys knows you know your way around a car already and besides, the Puckasaurus will be right there with ya."

"Exactly what I want on my side, the personification of your dick," Kurt mutters dryly.

Puck just grins at him widely. "At least there's one dick on your side?"

##

Kurt's day ends up being almost normal, a fact that he's supremely thankful for. He's not sure if it's because people really don't care, or if between Finn and Puck he has two of the better football players on his side. Either way, he isn't about to look a gift horse in the mouth.

Finn drives him home and the ride is even more silent then the morning; no music, nothing to cut through the tension. A couple times Finn looks like he wants to say something but in the end he falls silent, keeping his eyes on the road and his hands at ten and two. Twice Kurt thinks Finn mutters something about a mailman, but he doesn't really want to ask. He has to get back in the car with him tomorrow, after all.

He slams the car door shut hard, though, when Finn drops him off. Finn had just shrugged when Kurt mentioned seeing him for dinner but Kurt knows he'll be back-Finn is like nearly every teenage boy and completely ruled by his stomach. And Burt's steaks were pretty legendary.

The house is silent and it feels warm, a little cozy and Kurt blinks because they've only been back in Ohio for a little while but it already feels like home. Yeah, he misses JD and the others but it wasn't as visceral a hurt, it was more of throb-slow and steady and with the right distraction he kind of forgot it was there at all.

Down in his room he boots his computer up-he owe's J an email at least. Their cell phone bill had gotten a little excessive and email/skype was deemed the necessary way to go baring emergencies.

Out of habit he checks his email first, clicking through advertisements for different online sales. (He takes a second to forward one from Old Navy to his dad who could probably use a few of the essentials-he's never wear it but if his father liked it then whatever, sure, Kurt could suffer through being on their list serve. As long as nobody ever found out.)

There's a private facebook message that catches his attention, though, in the middle of the spam.

The subject line is simple: _Missed you Saturday! :(_

Kurt blinks. He'd forgotten there'd been a dinner and a movie get together in Cleveland, what with everything that'd happened. Apparently he'd been missed though.

With a little trepidation, Kurt double clicks the message.

 _Hey-_

 _I promise I'm not stalking you, just-I was hoping to see you in Cleveland last weekend. I hope you were doing something fun instead! Will you be at the Museum trip next week?_

 _Hope to see you there!_

 _Blaine ;)_

Kurt spends the next five minutes grinning madly, forgetting why he'd turned his computer on in the first place.

Blaine. Email. Museum.

That almost counted as a date, right?


	16. Chapter 15

* * *

"J-" Kurt laughs, laying back on his bed and luxuriating in the feel of his new temperpediec mattress pad. It was his dad's way of positively reinforcing Kurt's recent behavior, he's pretty sure. That or its a bribe to not ask about when they're going back to Santa Cruz; a bribe not to ask _if_ they're even going back. He isn't an idiot and his dad does seem more then a little attached to Carol Hudson. "I'm not really sure I want to hear about this," Kurt smiles, laying back on his bed. He half wishes that they had a phone with a cord on it because he really likes the idea of twirling it through his fingers as he catches up on the latest gossip, not that he's ever actually done that, but he has watched 80's movies and wondered.

"Seriously, Kurt-who else can I talk to? I mean-"

"No, I get it." Kurt agrees, "it's just-I'm not there, and I haven't talked to Maria or Tiff lately, definitely we haven't talked about what would happen if you all hook up-"

"Which is why you're perfect," JD says. "You're objective, you're not here in the middle of this..." J trails off and Kurt laughs again.

"Not there in the middle of your huge, hormonal mess?"

"Something like that," JD says.

"Just-protection is your friend." Kurt says. "I remember those horrible pictures from Health class and I don't want to even have to imagine you with those, or Tiff or Maria so just-go to CVS and buy some condoms."

"Kurt Hummel. The things that are coming out of your mouth!" JD gasps in mock shock. "I mean, condoms! Who are you and what happened to the boy who considered moving into my house to avoid talking to his dad about sex?"

"Ha ha ha." Kurt says, sarcastically. "That boy grew up and moved to Ohio."

"And..." J trails off.

"And...I talked to my dad, during the ride. PLUS, I've told you about Puck and his mission to basically sleep with anything female that moves, right?"

"Yeah." J's voice is soft, Kurt can imagine him laying in his room, can picture the photographs lining the corkboard and the sports trophies over his desk and suddenly he wants to be in Santa Cruz so badly he can feel it. It's a visceral pain, deep and sudden and swift and he has to take a deep breath and just breath through it because he can't let himself remember Santa Cruz, can't let himself remember how happy he was there because he isn't there anymore and remembering makes it harder.

"Look J-" Kurt cuts into the silence. "I gotta go, Puck mentioned something about a really bad movie with hot girls that he knew I had no interest in seeing, and well-he talked me into it anyway."

J laughs at this, as Kurt knew he would. "I hope there's at least explosions, for your sake."

"So do I. Explosions can make anything better." Kurt says, hanging up with a laugh.

The pain is still there, he misses Santa Cruz and that isn't going to go away overnight. But it's better, now. Easier to laugh and catch up on gossip and not think about how he's missing Queer Fashion Show at the U. Tiffany promised lots of pictures this year, at least, and the DVD of it so Kurt can live through the experience vicariously at least.

It's getting better, and the thought shocks Kurt as much as it comforts him. Ohio is getting better. School is getting better. It's getting better.

A quick glance at the clock proves that it might be getting better, but it's definitely getting later and he really does have to meet Puck to watch some horrible guy movie that Puck swore was the next big thing. Kurt's mostly just humoring him, going along with with because Puck's been a demon at school, threatening anyone who even looked at Kurt with crossed eyes.

The first slushy was the last slushy-Puck's threats kept people in line-and that, coupled with the Glee club, seemed to make everything okay.

##

Kurt's printed out three different sets of directions to the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame; he's borrowed his dad's navigation unit, made sure his car is topped off on gas, and has washed the windows *twice* because he wants to be able to see all the roadsigns clearly. He's never driven quite this far on his own-last time Puck had gone with, chaperoned almost, the entire laser tag trip. And he's offered to go this time, offered to see a 'fucking cool museum' and see 'hot chicks' getting it on.

Kurt appreciated the offer but he wants to do this one himself; wants to go to the museum and hang out with the cute boy he's only ever talked to on the phone (briefly) and chatted with on facebook. He wants to have this entire trip be _his_ , which he thinks Puck understands, even if he had grumbled a little.

He grabs his bag and heads into the kitchen to grab a couple bottles of water for the road-it's a long drive and if he can avoid paying the outrageous fees that gas stations have for water, well, that's just more money he can save for something *really* important-like the new Marc by Marc Jacobs sweatshirt that managed to be both designer and actually serviceable. His dad is reading the newspaper at the kitchen table and its a familiar site, friendly; it brings a smile to Kurt's face because he likes seeing his dad settled.

"You think you're prepared, Kiddo?" Burt asks with a little laugh.

"You've seen how expensive water is!" Kurt says, a little defensively, as he opens the cabinet for the water.

"I know, I know." Burt holds up his hands placatingly. "I was just joking. So, that Puck kid going with you today?"

Kurt shakes his head. "Just me this time. But don't worry-my phone is fully charged, I have directions, I borrowed your navigation unit, I have water and cash in case I need it...I'm pretty sure the first aid kit is in the trunk, too."

Burt laughs at this and Kurt sighs dramatically. "I just like to be prepared dad! You know this!"

"Yeah, I know." Burt stands up and walks over to Kurt, pulls him into a hug. "I'm happy that you've found a support group here, you know." He ruffles Kurt's hair a little. "I was really worried about moving you back here."

"Dad!" Kurt whines a bit, pulling his head back, out of his father's reach. "I know you were worried, and I know we probably have a lot to talk about, because somehow I don't see us moving back to Santa Cruz at the end of the summer, but if I don't leave now I'm might be late."

Burt steps back. "Alright, alright. Go! Drive safely!"

"Thanks dad!"

"Kurt," Burt calls out just as Kurt is walking out the kitchen door. "Have fun today. You deserve it."

"Thanks." Kurt smiles at his dad once more before ducking out the kitchen door and heading towards the car. He has places to go and a relatively cute boy to see and flirt with and possibly even ask out, depending on how the afternoon unravels. Things couldn't be better.

##

Traffic's lighter then Kurt expected, and it wasn't nearly as difficult to find parking as Rachel said it was, so Kurt's there early. He stands outside the impressive building and just stares for a few minutes, breathing deeply and just reveling in the feeling of freedom. Lima wasn't bad, especially not with Puck at his side, but he still had to keep an eye out; still had to be careful and aware and just constantly *on*, it feels good to tune everything out. It feels good to just be one of the masses, there to appreciate music and costumes and-Kurt blinks-the Jonas Brothers, who, according to one of the large signs, just donated some of their tour costumes.

He laughs a little to himself and pulls his cell out.

 _JoBro costumes are here. Didn't you say you were in a JoBro tribute band? LOL._

He tucks his phone away, knows that Puck will respond later probably, because last Kurt heard Puck planned to spend the entire day cleaning pools (Kurt had resolutely not asked why that deserved a leer and an entire pack of condoms, because he's learned from Puck that discretion just means Pucklikes to be asked, and once he's asked there will be no detail spared).

"Hey," a voice interrupts Kurt's daydreaming. "It's Kurt, right?"

Kurt blinks and turns around to find Blaine staring at him, holding out a hand. "Oh!" He shakes Blaine's hand immediately. "Um, I mean, yes! It's Kurt. And you're Blaine, right?"

"You got it." Blaine smiles at him and Kurt feels his heart flutter a little because if Blaine's facebook picture was hot, well, that's nothing compared to the boy in the flesh. Blaine's wearing tight pants and an interesting polo/vest combination that somehow screams "gay" without being too costume-y and Kurt's a little speechless. He just keeps staring at Blaine, at his hair (that does have far too much gel in it, but at least that will wash out) and his face and his outfit and it's all perfect, all exactly what he wants in a boy.

"You look nice," Blaine says, looking at Kurt up and down. "I really like those pants," and Kurt blushes at this because he's worn his tightest pants, the pants that Puck said emphasized his ass the best, and part of Kurt wants to turn around in a circle and say 'these old things?' because that way Blaine will get a chance to actually see his ass, see how the pants accentuate it, but that feels a little forward.

"Oh." Kurt smiles shyly. "It's nice to talk to you in person. I asked Becca who you were at Laser Tag but wasn't able to say hi before Puck needed to leave."

Blaine's face falls a little at the mention of Puck. "Oh," Blaine says. "Is that your boyfriend?"

Kurt laughs at this, laughs loudly and more then a little overenthusiasticlly, all while shaking his head. "Gaga, no. Puck is probably the straightest boy in Lima."

"But he was at a GLBT Columbus event-" Blaine's face shows his confusion, it's obvious and Kurt feels his stomach twitch a bit because Blaine, a boy, a cute boy that lives in OHIO, is asking why Puck was there; asking if Kurt was *dating* Puck, and it really does feel too good to be real.

"He's my best friend," Kurt finally says. "He didn't want me meet strange people from the Internet without backup, ya know?"

"Good friend," Blaine comments.

"Yeah." Kurt rocks back on his heels, puts his hands in his back pockets. "I got really lucky when I met him; I just moved here a few months ago and well, Lima isn't the most accepting place in the world. Puck's the school badass, so, if people try anything with me they're basically challenging him, and well..." Kurt shrugs.

"Sounds like a great guy." Blaine smiles and Kurt takes a deep breath.

"He is." Kurt takes a deep breath and lets it out. "If I wanted to spend the day talking about Puck though, I would have stayed in Lima. That boy has enough ego for the entire school." Kurt smiles as he says this, because Puck definitely has ego but he has more then that, too. "Want to go inside and check out the Beatles exhibit with me? Maybe see the new Jonas Brother's costumes that they donated?"

Blaine nods at this. "Sounds great."

The two teens walk towards the museum, each smiling. Kurt reaches out just as they're hitting the ticket line and brushes his hand against Blaine's. He wants to be brave, wants to hold Blaine's hand, but he isn't sure. It might be too early, it might be too much, Blaine might not like him like that.

The doubt falls away as Blaine reaches out with his hand and brushes Kurt's fingers a few seconds later. Then they're looking at each other and blushing; finger's interlaced. Kurt leans his head back and basks for a second, letting the warmth of the sun dance across his skin.

He could get used to this.


	17. Chapter 16

The day before Kurt turns 17, his dad sits him down at the kitchen table. His dad is kind of smiling and Kurt doesn't think anything necessarily bad is going to happen, but he's apprehensive because the last three times they've sat down at the kitchen table it's been for serious conversations. He can still remember sitting there, playing with his cast, as his dad said they were leaving Lima.

Now they're sitting there and Kurt isn't sure why, and his stomach is twisting a little. He'd call it butterflies but he's not six anymore, he knows it means he's anxious.

"Kiddo," his dad says. "I know I said we were going to go back to Santa Cruz after six months."

Kurt swallows, resists the urge to interject. He isn't sure he wants to go back to Santa Cruz, is the thing. He has Puck here, and he misses JD and the others, but he doesn't miss them as much, as viscerally. He has Blaine, and he can't imagine going back to Santa Cruz and leaving Blaine behind. They aren't quite sure what they are yet, they've only been out a couple times in between school and glee and everything else they have piled onto their schedules, but he knows he likes Blaine, that his stomach twists in excitement when he thinks about him, and it's-nice.

"But kiddo-" Burt keeps talking. "I think it's worked out pretty well here, all things considered. You have friends, and-" Burt pauses. "I know you're not dating Blaine, because we said no dating until you're older."

Kurt blushes. "No, no-not dating." He doesn't add 'not yet' because he doesn't want to tempt fate, or his dad, into making any rash decisions.

Burt rolls his eyes. "Kiddo, I wasn't born yesterday. I know you think Blaine is special. I just don't know if I'm ready to walk in on you and Blaine having special times together..."

"We haven't even kissed yet!" Kurt says, a little scandalized. "And if we were going to do that, I'd make sure you weren't home!"

Burt chuckles at this. "You can kiss if I'm here. Just-"

"I know, if we're in my room, keep the door open." Kurt drones, mocking his dad just a little because his dad has said it at least half-a-dozen times and he hasn't even met Blaine yet. Blaine hasn't ever stepped foot inside the Hummel home.

"Well-" Burt smiles a little. "I was going to say make sure I don't see it, but I think you've got the message I've been sending so I'll leave it at that."

Kurt nodded. His dad was not what anyone would call subtle.

"So, would you be okay with sticking it out here in Lima?"

Kurt takes a deep breath and slowly lets it out. It's a good technique he'd picked up from J back when he was learning how to bite his tongue (just a little, enough so he didn't get suspended for his quick wit back in Santa Cruz, where the teachers actually paid attention to what was said.) "Yes. I mean-" Kurt pauses. "I like it here. It isn't as dreadful as I thought I'd be. Just-"

"JD's mom said that you're welcome to visit whenever you want, that their guest bedroom has your name stenciled on the door, practically."

Kurt smiles, then. "Yeah." He nods, more for himself then for his dad, because he could do this; they could do this. He has Puck and Blaine and his dad has Carole and there's Glee to consider, so all in all it isn't the end of the world. And Santa Cruz, with its constant sunshine and few overcast days, really was skin cancer just waiting to happen. "I think I'd like staying here, actually."

"Good, kiddo." Burt reaches out and ruffles Kurt's hair. Just like always, and as much as Kurt wants to squawk about it, because he put time and effort into his hair, not like his dad who just tossed on the closest hat and calls it a day, but he doesn't want to give it up, either. "You know I'd do anything to make you happy."

Kurt grins at this, then stands up and hugs his dad close. "Love you, dad."

"Love you too, kiddo."

##

Puck's ecstatic when Kurt tells him the news. He fist-bumps Kurt and starts talking about "brohood" and "bromance" and Kurt has to stop himself from laughing out loud at his enthusiasm. Kurt's thankful that Puck's graphic when talking about his conquests, actually, because if he didn't have such strong first-hand knowledge of Puck's heterosexuality, well-he'd be more than a little tempted to crush on him. But Kurt doesn't let those thoughts distract him for long, because there are others things to think about. Blaine to think about.

"Up for paintballing this weekend?" Puck asks. "I know it isn't your thing but Finn-"

Kurt scoffed. "Finn's going to be there?"

Puck sighed. "Look, he kind of asked me to ask you if you'd go. I told him you'd say no but come on! The opportunity to shoot things at him! At high speeds!"

Kurt smiles at the image. "I think I'd need to be restrained if I had that opportunity otherwise he might have...well...permanent damage to his family jewels."

"No hitting anybody in the junk!" Puck shouts. "That's just no sporting, no matter what the bastard did to you!"

Kurt sighs. "I know, I know. Just-"

"You're fucking pissed as hell at him." Puck rolls his eyes. "Been there, done that."

"And you still hate him!" Kurt throws his hands in the air. "I don't see the two of you going out and being besties anytime soon!"

Puck shakes his head. "It's not about that, dude. Just-he's in Glee and we're in Glee and..."

"Rachel's gotten to you?" Kurt snarks. "Because you're sounding like one of her 'for the good of Glee' speeches."

Puck sighs. "Look-just think about it."

Kurt sighs in reply but then nods. "Fine, I'll think about it. But not this weekend, next weekend. I'm not going to ruin my birthday weekend with this drivel."

Puck agrees quickly enough, nodding and smiling, and if Kurt didn't know any better he'd said that he got played, but he doesn't think Puck thinks like that. It probably isn't badass enough, to manipulate friends like that. At least, he hopes that's the case.

##

His 17th birthday starts early-with J and the girls calling him the second it hits 12:01p.m. in Lima. They convince him to get on skype and he laughs, full body, outloud, because they're sitting at J's kitchen table with a chocolate cake in front of them. It almost says 'Happy Birthday Kurt' on it but there's a large section missing and Kurt knows that means Maria stole a slice as soon as she got there. She's always had a sweet tooth.

The three of them are in the middle of singing a rousing rendition of 'Happy Birthday', complete with virtual candles that they won't blow out on their cake until Kurt blows them a kiss through the screen, when his dad knocks and comes in.

"Happy Birthday, kiddo." His dad says, smiling. In his hands is a large slice of chocolate cake and Kurt can feel himself begin to tear up because he knows this means his dad and J have been talking to each other, working the timing out, trying to surprise him and share (virtual) cake. It's in this moment he misses J horribly. His heart feels like it's going to twist out of his chest and he wants, more than anything, to be in Santa Cruz. To be by the ocean and visit the teen center and maybe bring Puck with him, because he can see Puck loving Santa Cruz.

"Thanks dad," Kurt chokes out. He doesn't want to cry, not on skype in front of his friends, not in front of his dad, but he doesn't know if he's going to be able to hold it in, either.

Burt sets the cake in front of Kurt, smiling and leaning forward to ruffle his hair. Kurt takes a deep breath and looks at the cake. There's an envelope sitting to the side of it, with his name written on the front.

"Dad?" Kurt picks up the envelope.

"I thought I'd give you one of your presents early, kiddo." Burt shrugs. He turns as if to walk out of the room, leaving Kurt with the cake and the present and his friends.

"Dad, wait!" Kurt calls out. He's pretty sure he knows what the present is, but he's trembling too much to actually open the envelope. Finally he tears the top open and looks inside. It's a folded piece of paper that he takes out carefully. After unfolding it, he stares at the paper in shock.

"Two tickets to San Jose?" Kurt's voice wavers. "For the summer."

Burt nods, slightly. "Not the whole summer, kiddo, I'd miss you too much-but-a couple weeks."

"AND-" J's voice startles Kurt who had all but forgotten his friends were on skype watching this entire thing. "He made sure it was over San Francisco pride, so you could show it off to Puck."

"Puck?" Kurt whispers.

"Dude, you've been talking him up for months now." J shakes his head in mock disbelief. "I need to meet the dude that's encroaching on my best friend territory."

"Is that alright kiddo?" Burt asks. "I spoke to his mom, and she was alright with him going to Santa Cruz with you. I told her I'd feel better with you traveling with someone...you've never flown by yourself."

Kurt nods and doesn't even bother trying to blink back his tears anymore. "He'd like it. All the hot women on bikes."

Maggie laughs at this. "Dykes on bikes, Kurt. They wouldn't be interested in him in any way, shape or form."

Burt ran a hand over his head. "I think I'd better leave before I hear too much and decide that you're too young to attend this event. Happy birthday, kiddo." Burt leans forward and pulls Kurt into a tight hug. Kurt's crying completely now, not just misting over. He's pretty sure he's never felt this appreciated, this loved, and the feeling enters him and doesn't leave.

"Kiddo, I'm proud of you." Burt whispers mid-hug. "I'm just so proud of you, of everything you've become. You are the bravest kid ever."

"You're the best dad ever," Kurt whispers back. "And I love you."

"Love you too, kiddo." Burt pulls back. "Now I'll leave you to your friends and the cake. There's more downstairs, if you want some later."

"One slice only dad," Kurt warns. "No sneaking any in the middle of the night."

"Sure, kiddo." Burt smiles and Kurt sighs because he's pretty sure that means his dad is going to have a gigantic piece and get up in the middle of the night to sneak another one. His dad isn't exactly subtle.

"Kurt-" J calls out from the computer screen. "We're going to have to go soon-Tiffany needs to get home and Maria wants more cake..."

"Night dad," Kurt says, turning back to the computer screen. "You can't go yet! We have to figure out what I'm going to wear on my date with Blaine this weekend!"

So, yeah, it wasn't perfect. Lima wasn't perfect. But he's here and he's happy and he has a good friend and a (maybe) boyfriend and that all counts for something. This isn't what he imagined would happen when he moved back to Lima, isn't what he imagined his life would be like, but it is and he almost likes it, almost loves it. And that's a pretty good place to start.


End file.
